So if your child does something amazing you might think to yourself I'm such a great

parent but then that same child makes a mistake or a bad choice and you're thinking

I'm such a failure.

It's really never a good idea to find your identity in your child's performance.

And we're going to talk about that today.

I'm John Fuller with Dr. Danny Werta who leads the focus on the family parenting team and Danny why is it so easy for us to find our sense of value in what our kids do or don't do?

It's so natural, John, to go both ways, right? If my child does something wrong, I'm a bad parent.

I've done something wrong, but really the child is the one that made the decision.

And then when they do something right, we think like we're number one we

should have a trophy the parenting trophy should come to me and we've had moments like

that I know that when Alex decided you know to to befriend a kid at lunchtime and to tell us, hey I sat with this boy and I

become his friend, this boy that's alone,

that was his decision.

And many times we'll own those, say, man,

look at what a good parent I am.

But part of that is a reflection

of the values you have and conversations you've had.

Part of it. But we don't own the fruit of the spirit.

Well, no. The fruit of the spirit is it comes through when you allow it to do so my son did and obedience is something that's loving

but I don't own his obedience and he he made that decision as himself and yeah we need to teach and do our part in the chain

but ultimately our kids own their decisions and we can do our best to teach

sometimes they'll make the right decision, sometimes they won't.

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