Today is my son's 40th birthday, which I didn't think I would be spending it in a visit with him in jail,

but I usually try to spend his birthday with him.

It's November 11, 2015. J.J.'s Ma Maria is but I usually try to spend his birthday with him.

It's November 11, 2015.

JJ's mom Maria is driving to see him at Sing Sing.

We're lucky this year. He has a visit today, so I'm on my way to visit him and wish him a happy birthday.

I just wish it was under different circumstances, but we'll just keep pushing forth.

It's been one year since JJ sent me that devastating letter, the one he'd written at four in the morning in despair, after finding out a judge had denied his request for a hearing.

That letter was a turning point for me.

I knew that something had changed in my relationship with JJ.

When I read it, I was afraid for him.

My dateline story about JJ had already aired,

and there wasn't another one planned,

but I was more committed than ever to keep going.

After the judge's denial, JJ's lawyers filed an appeal.

As JJ waited, time was passing.

By his 40th birthday, he'd been locked up for nearly 18 years.

Maria says over time,

it's gotten harder to visit him.

Actually, my visits have

gotten less and less.

I don't like seeing him there.

...