Let's Have a Ball
Snoozecast
Snoozecast
4.4 • 1.5K Ratings
🗓️ 26 February 2025
⏱️ 39 minutes
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Summary
Tonight, we’ll read about the etiquette of throwing balls from Manners and Rules of Good Society by “A Member of the Aristocracy,” published in London in 1916. Snoozecast first read from this book back in 2021.
A ball is a formal dance party characterized by a banquet followed by social dance that includes ballroom dancing. More than just an evening of entertainment, a well-orchestrated ball was a display of refinement, social standing, and adherence to an intricate web of unspoken rules. Success at such an event was not measured solely by the elegance of a waltz or quadrille but by the host’s ability to maintain harmony
among guests, observe propriety, and adhere to the rigid expectations of high society.
The author of Manners and Rules of Good Society, while anonymous, was likely someone well-acquainted with the customs of the British upper class. The book served as a guide to navigating the complex social structures of the time, providing insight into not only how to host a ball but how to conduct oneself in all matters of decorum. As the Edwardian era gave way to the upheaval of the First World War, such traditions were becoming increasingly symbolic of a fading world—one where rigid social distinctions were being challenged by the changing times.
Balls themselves had evolved over centuries, originating in the royal courts of Europe before spreading into the aristocracy and, later, to the upper-middle class. By the time this book was published, grand balls were still held in the great houses of Britain, but their role was shifting. What had once been a cornerstone of courtship and political alliances was becoming more of a nostalgic tradition. Yet, even as the social landscape changed, books like Manners and Rules of Good Society sought to preserve the elegance and ritual of a bygone era, offering a glimpse into the customs that once dictated the highest levels of society.
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Transcript
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| 0:28.5 | You're built to win it. Welcome to snoozecast, the podcast is designed to help you fall. Find us on snoozecast.com and find more antiquated etiquette sleep stories by searching your podcast app for snoozecast presents etiquette. If you are a premium subscriber, log into your account to access ad-free listening of that feed, as well dozens of others. To learn more, go to snoozecast.com slash plus. This episode is brought to you by Grand Entertainment. Tonight we'll read about the etiquette of throwing balls from manners and rules of good society by a member of the aristocracy, published in London in 1916. Snues cast first read from this book back in 2021. A ball is a formal dance party characterized by a banquet followed by social dance that includes ballroom dancing. More than just an evening of entertainment, a well-orchestrated ball was a display of refinement, social standing, and adherence to an intricate web of unspoken rules. Success at such an event was not measured solely by the elegance of a waltz, but by the host's ability to maintain harmony among guests, observe propriety, and adhere to the rigid expectations of high society. The author of manners and rules of good society, while anonymous, was likely someone well acquainted with the customs of the British upper class. The book served as a guide to navigating the complex social structures of the time, providing insight into not only how to host a ball, but how to conduct oneself in all matters of decorum. that Edwardian era gave way to the upheaval of the First World War, such traditions were becoming increasingly symbolic of a fading world. One where rigid social distinctions were being challenged by the changing times. Balls themselves had evolved over centuries, originating in the royal courts of Europe before spreading into the aristocracy and later to the upper middle class. By the time this book was published, grand balls were still held in the great houses of Britain, but their role was shifting. What had once been a cornerstone of courtship and political alliances was becoming more of an nostalgic tradition. Yet, even as the social landscape changed, books like manners and rules of good society sought to preserve the elegance and ritual of a bygone era, offering eglips into the customs that once dictated the highest levels of society. Let's get cozy. Close your eyes. Relax your body into the softness of your bed. of your bad. |
| 4:28.0 | Now. body into the softness of your bed. Now, take a few deep breaths. balls are those balls for which tickets of admission can be purchased, although for many of those balls, it is necessary to obtain vouchers from the committees or patronesses when held in town or at watering places. balls include county balls, charity balls, and subscription balls, etc. In town, ball giving is in a way a science, and an amusement upon which large sums of money are frequently expended. A crowded ball is not always pronounced a good ball by the guests. |
| 5:29.5 | Often the kind of... frequently expended. A crowded ball is not always pronounced a good ball by the guests, often the contrary, but then again, what is termed a thin ball is open to the accusation of not going off well and falling rather flat, of not being kept up with spirit and of being considered a stupid ball, and so on. To hit upon a happy medium with regard to the number of guests is an achievement in ball giving, which is only arrived at by a careful study of the map of the county, and selection of night. This selection is of paramount importance to the success of a ball, as when a smarter ball is given at a smarter house on the particular evening chosen by the giver of a less brilliant ball. The grander ball extinguishes the lesser ball. Through the most fashionable people, merely looking in at the one and remaining the rest of the evening at the other. This putting out as it were of the lesser light occurs very frequently during the London season to give ball-vers moving in the same sets. The guests who have been expected to add luster to the lesser balls appear but for a few minutes and usually arrive rather early. At perhaps a little before 11 and remain hardly half an hour in the rooms, making their way to another ball of the same caliber, and remaining there perhaps another 20 minutes before arriving at the goal, the ball of the evening. ladies and gentlemen follow this practice, thus, at a little after 12, an average ballgiver finds her rooms deserted by all but those who have nowhere else to go. Although the flitting of the guests, thus early, is a disappointment to the hostess, and although it does not prevent the fleeting ball givers from making suitable returns by placing the family on their ball lists, it yet greatly marries the enjoyment of the ball and prevents its being looked back upon with anything approaching to pleasure or satisfaction. The departure of the most eligible partners being not the least of the vexations of the night. These minor disputes are sometimes unavoidable, but, when practical, it is always best to pose pwn a ball rather than to allow it to clash with a ball of greater pretensions. An impromptu dance is often a great success, while an impromptu ball is almost as certain to prove a great failure. The difference between a dance and a ball consists in the number of the invitations issued in the strength of the band and the extent of the supper arrangements. At a dance, the number of the guests varies from 80 to 200. At a ball, they vary from 200 to 500. At a dance, a piano band is frequently engaged, while at a ball, a full band is requisite. At a ball, the floral decorations are a great feature. At a small dance they are often dispensed with. Ladies new to society as it were, or whose circle of acquaintance is of a limited character, and who do not number in that circle many ball-givers, and who yet desire to form a ball acquaintance, frequently place their ball in the hands of some intimate friend of higher standing than themselves, giving her cart blanched a form a ball-list. When this plan is followed, invitations are still sent out by the ball-giver, in every Every case the name and compliments of the lady who forms the list are sent with the card. This plan, although if advantage to the hostess, is often productive of much unpleasantness to her unfashionable friends, who are naturally very much affronted at being excluded the ball-list, which they usually are, as a lady who undertakes to form a ball-list for a friend is not a little arbitrary as to the conditions under which she assumes its management. She naturally wishes the ball to be confined to her own set to the exclusion of what she terms all outsiders. Ladies are always more or less reluctant to yield up their ball to the exclusion of their old friends. However anxious they may be to make new ones. But when a ball is thus given, it is thoroughly understood that conditions, however stringent, must be compiled with. A hostess should receive her guests at the head of the staircase at a ball given in town, |
| 11:26.0 | and at the door of the ballroom at a country house ball. |
| 11:32.0 | She should shake hands with each guest in the order of their arrival. |
| 11:41.0 | The ladies of a party should advance towards the hostess, followed by the gentleman of their party. |
| 12:09.2 | A lady and gentleman should not ascend at the staircase, arm and arm, or make their entrance into the ballroom, arm and arm. The gentleman invariably enters the ballroom after the ladies of their party and never before them or arm in arm with them. A ball is usually opened either by the hostess herself or by one of her daughters. Opening fancy dress ball simply signifies dancing in the first quadril. Opening a dance means dancing the first vaults. When a member of the royal family or a foreign prince is expected, dancing should not commence until the arrival of the royal guest. And when the royal guest is a lady, the host should open the ball with her, having his wife or daughter as vis-a-vis. When the royal guest is a prince, the hostess or her daughter should open the ball with him. When a prince wishes to dance with any lady present, with whom he is unequainted, his Zachary informs her of the prince's intention and conducts her to the prince, saying as he |
| 13:27.3 | does so, Mrs. A, your royal highness, or Ms. B, your royal highness. The prince bows and offers her his arm. A lady should curtsy and take it. She should not address him until addressed by him. It not being considered etiquette to do so. The same chorus is followed by a princess. Strangers to the princess should not ask her to dance, but the host has the privilege of doing so. When more than one royal personage is present, the one of the highest rank leads the way, with either hostess or host. Royal guests should be received by the host and hostess at the entrance of the mansion, and by them conducted to the ballroom. At ball-suppers, the same precedence is strictly enforced. The royal guests leading the way with host or hostess. The same etiquette should be observed on the departure of royal guests as on their arrival. General introductions should not be made to royal guests, and introductions should be made by request only. Gentlemen present at a ball are expected to ask the daughters of the house for one dance at least. A hostess should use her own discretion as to any introduction she thinks proper to make. When a ball is given in the country, the hostess should endeavor to find partners for those young ladies who are strangers to the general company. But when a ball is given in town, she is not expected to do so, as in town the guests are supposed to be acquainted with |
| 15:46.8 | each other more or less, and to be independent of the kind of offices of a hostess. The dances mainly invoke at the moment are falses, the Boston, two steps, and the Catillion, in which handsome presence are given. Quadrilles are danced at state balls, and at those balls at which the king and queen are present. Also at fancy dress balls. Lancers are danced occasionally at hunt balls. The presidency observed in sending guests into supper is far more punctiliously followed in the country than in town. The host should take in Lady of Highest Rank present, and the hostess should endeavor to send in the principal guests according to their individual rank. But in town she generally leaves the guests to follow the host and lady of highest rank according to their inclinations. The guest should not enter the supper room before the host has done so. When a gentleman takes a lady into supper, he should reconduct her to the ballroom as a matter of course. The fact of friends joining her in the supper room would not relieve him from this obligation. And the same etiquette applies equally to a lady. She should return to the ballroom only with the gentleman who has taken her down to supper, unless she is engaged for the ensuing dance when her partner might come in quest for her. She should then return to the ballroom with him. It is not unusual for guests to take leave of a hostess at a London ball. This remark applies to acquaintances of the hostess and not to intimate friends. At a country ball, the guests are on a more friendly footing than is generally the case in town. And therefore, make a point of taking leave of the hostess if possible. It is optional whether a host conducts a lady to her carriage or not. the, more as expected of him than in town in this respect. As at a London ball, such a civility would involve a vast amount of exertion, which few hosts would be willing to undergo. accompanied by an acquaintance generally make their way to their carriages. The custom of covering in small balconies and the windows of the drawing rooms where a ball takes place rendering the atmosphere of the room almost insupportable from the total exclusion of air is fast disappearing. The space gained by this means for the accommodation of the guests is totally disproportionate to the discomfort thereby entailed upon them. All givers have at length realized the mistake of crowding 200 to 300 people together into rooms not properly ventilated. And it is now the rule when covering in balconies to introduce window frames into the bunting covering and to drape them with lace curtains, etc. The windows of the ballroom being entirely removed. Large blocks of ice are frequently placed in convenient spots for the purpose of cooling the atmosphere and colored ice produces a pretty effect. |
| 20:28.7 | Pat and ventilators are also much in use, and the substitution of electric lighting |
| 20:32.1 | on a count of its emitting little heat has become general. |
| 20:38.4 | Ball goers appreciate these alterations as only those who have experienced the close, |
| 21:05.0 | stifling atmosphere of an overcrowded ballroom can do. And as half the London ballrooms are only average-sized drawing rooms, the absurdity of excluding air from the ballroom with yards of thick canvas cannot be too severely criticized. Ball givers, too, frequently issue far more invitations than the size of their room authorizes. Under the mistaken idea that to have a great crowd in their rooms is to give a good ball. But experienced ball givers limit the number of their invitations to under 200 instead of expanding it to over 300. The country ball season ostensibly commences in November reaches its its scene at the January, and terminates early in February. The stewards of these bowls are, as a rule, the representatives of the various classes by whom they are attended. The members of the aristocracy residing in the country heading the list of stewards, and the members of the professional classes usually closing it. The top of the ballroom is, as a rule, appropriated by the aristocratic element, head stewards, and lady patronesses, the enjoyment derived from country balls depends upon a variety of circumstances, which do not influence in a like degree the ball-going world of London. Country balls are principally composed of a series of large parties brought by different ladies in the neighborhood where the ball is held. But there are two classes of country balls. But there are two classes of country balls. Balls which are held in large and populous towns and attended by the principal residents of the towns, with only a small sprinkling of the country, aristocracy, and country, gentry. There are also hunt balls and annual charity balls which take place between October and February and which are an amalgamation of both classes of balls. Then they were heard where a ball is held, this sufficient indication as to whether it is likely to be a smart one or not. As a rule, the leading ladies of the county lend their names as patronesses and supporters of a charity ball, although it by no means follows that they will personally attend it. But a long list of influential patronesses materially increases the sale of tickets, which is the result to be achieved. A large attendance is not the primary object of a county ball, as the sum raised by the sale of tickets is only required to defray the expenses of the ball, although these are sometimes considerable, especially when the decorations are elaborate and the arrangements on a grand scale, in which case there is not seldom a deficiency rather than a surplus, which deficiency is defrared by the stewards themselves. To ensure a good ball, considerable unity on the part of the county ladies is demanded, and they usually meet and consult together, previous to fixing the date of the ball. To take into consideration the fixtures of neighboring county balls, and so avoid the possibility of the said balls clashing with their own county ball. And also with a view of perhaps attracting the house parties of their more distant neighbors to swell the numbers at their own ball. |
| 25:38.0 | House parties invited for a ball vary from 10 to 25, as the accommodation of a house admits. It is not the province of the stewards of a ball to find partners for either ladies or gentlemen, and therefore, if a lady does not form one of a large party, but merely attends a county ball with a relative |
| 26:08.8 | or friend and has not a large acquaintance among those present. She has very little chance of obtaining |
| 26:18.8 | partners. Young ladies do not now return to their chaperones after each dance, or after they have been to the tea room. A gentleman should offer his arm to his partner at the conclusion of a dance to conduct her to the tea room. In round dances, it is customary to take frequent pauses and not to race around the ballroom until the music ceases. At country balls, programs are invariably used. At London balls, they are never used, save at public balls. County balls usually commence between 9 and 10 o'clock. Sometimes a ball is not opened until the most influential of the stewards and their parties have arrived. But more often than not, the two first dances are over before the arrival of the county magnets. |
| 28:48.3 | It depends upon the length of the drive at which time people arrive at the ball. As a rule, they do not arrive later than 10.30 p.m. The usual mode of conveying a house party to a ball is by private omnibus in addition to carriages and motorcars. But when these are hired for the occasion, the expense should be defraided by the guests themselves. is usual to leave a country country ball not later than half past two. The most fashionable people invariably do so about that hour. As a matter of course, persons attending public balls take their ball, take them. When attending a military ball or a hunt ball, it is usually the rule to take the invitation card and hand it to the sergeant or official in attendance. It is sometimes stated on the invitation card that this is to be done, although it is often taken for granted that persons will do so of their own accord. At balls given by private individuals, the invited guests should not bring their invitation cards with them, unless in the case of a ball mask, where they are sometimes requested to do so. In giving a ball three weeks notice is considered necessary, but with regard to a dance, a short ten days notice would suffice. The invitation card is the usual at home card, the word dancing being printed in the corner of the card. The word ball should never be used on an invitation card, however grand the entertainment. And the same form of invitation is employed either in the case of a small dance or of a large ball, though in the event of a small dance, the words small or early should be written or printed on the invitation card. Invitations to a ball should be issued in the name of the hostess only. When the host is a widower with a grown-up daughter, the invitations should be issued in their joint names. the host is a widower or a bachelor, they should be issued in his name. Invitations issued by officers, members of Hunt Committees, bachelors, etc., to their balls either request the pleasure or the honor of Mrs. Blanks' company. But this formula should not be used by ladies when issuing invitations. The at-home card should simply bear the word dancing on the bottom of the card. The hour and date filled in the allotted space. The name of the guest written at the top of the card. In the case of a written invitation, it should be correct to use the words ball or dance when alluding to the entertainment about to be given in a friendly note. A lady or gentleman might ask for an invitation for his or her friend to a ball given by an acquaintance. Although the acquaintance ship were of a slight character, but a lady or gentleman should not ask for an invitation to a ball if unacquainted with the giver of it. The fact of mutual friends having received invitations to a ball gives no claim upon the hospitality of a stranger. Therefore, such requests are inadmissible. The proper course for a person to pursue in the event of desiring an invitation to a ball given by someone with whom he or she is unequainted, is to request some mutual |
| 33:09.4 | friend to obtain one, and this course is always followed. Cards should be left by the guests present at a ball within the current week if possible. Coutuities should never be given by the guests to the servants of the house where a ball is given. State balls Two state balls are annually given at Buckingham Palace during the London season by command of his majesty. Invitations are issued by the Lord Chamberlain, but his majesty previously revises the list. |
| 37:07.0 | When ladies and gentlemen attend a state ball at Buckingham Palace, they make their way to the ballroom unannounced, and there is no official reception according to them either by royalty or by the Lord Chamberlain. Dancing does not commence until the arrival of the royal party when the guests rise and remain standing, while the royal quadril with which the ball opens is is being danced. The king and queen act as host and hostess on these occasions, but confine their attentions to those with whom they are personally acquainted. Ladies attending a state ball at Buckingham Palace should wear the usual full evening dress, but they should not wear court trains or plumes or lapets. Gentlemen attending state balls should wear uniform or full court dress, dress coat, breaches and silk stockings, shoes and buckles. Trousers can only be worn as part of a uniform and not with a court dress. A gentleman intending to dance should remove his sword. Otherwise, he should not do so. When the court is in mourning, the ladies attending a state ball should wear morning according to the official notice, which duly appears in the Gazette. Gentleman should wear Crape on the left arm, which is supplied in the cloakroom of the palace to those who are forgotten to provide themselves with it, As it is imperative when the court is in mourning that a band of crepe should be worn at either state ball or state concert. The balls given by the princes and princesses of the blood royal are not state balls. Therefore, court dress is not worn by the gentleman present. They act as host and hostess at the balls given by them and receive their guests, shaking hands with them as they are announced. Ladies and gentlemen do not take theireld. Yn yw'n gweld. Yn yw'n gweld. Yn yw'n gweld. Yn yw'n gweld. Yn yw'n gweld. Yn yw'n gweld. Yn yw'n gweld.w'n yw'n yw'n yw'n yw'n yw'n yw'n yw'n yw'n yw'n yw'n yw'n yw'n yw'n yw'n yw'n yw'n yw'n yw'n yw'n yw'n yw'n yw'n yw'n yw'n yw'n yw'n yw'n yw'n yw'n yw'n yw'n y you |
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