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Welcome to part two of my interview with adoption and MPE expert Leslie Pate McKinnon. She is a well-known, well-respected therapist in these communities. Her story has been featured in multiple

documentaries. MPE is misattributed, parentage experience. This is what the experience is when you find out that you were adopted later in life. She is an expert and is helping us talk through this very complex issue of adoption and reconnection, attachment, and attraction. This is an episode that I very much hope many therapists listen to.

I hope this gets shared in therapists and healing communities. This is information that certainly every therapist needs. If adoption has touched your life, this can be a very powerful, very grown-up episode where we do not sugarcoat the issues that surround this complex issue and the delicacy and the intimacy of the adoption experience.

This will definitely be a strange episode to jump into on part two if you haven't had part one. So if you haven't listened to part one, I encourage you to stop now. Go find it. It's the previous episode and listen to that first.

On to part two of the interview. Here is Leslie Pate McKinnon.

I had a father once that came in to see me an adoptive dad. His wife had passed away a few months before from cancer. He wanted to come in and interview me and see if I would be right for his teenage daughter.

When he told me what had happened, I said, she has lost two mothers. He looked at me like, what do you mean? I said, well, she lost because she has adopted her first mother. Now she has lost her mother. That is tough for a 15-year-old.

She said, well, I don't think there is anything about the first mother, but she was close to her mom. I know this hurts. I said, do me a favor. Go home and ask her if she ever thinks about adoption.

She said, well, every day, do dad. Good for her. But it takes kids off and until adulthood, they don't want to hurt their parents. They don't even want to search until their parents are deceased because the fear of hurting them and it is the fear of being rejected in some way themselves.

If I act like I want them more, it is not either here we go again, black or white, both and. There are never too many people to love you. Is there? No.

So if you meet and have a good reunion with a birth family and you don't always, but if you do, wow, you just got a whole other group of people that love you. And you still have your adopted family because they're your parents. They're your parents, they're your family, you have all of your memories connected to this.

It's all their experience. It's very different.

I want to take this opportunity to talk a little bit about my adoptive history because I think it's an outlier for how we think about it. And in this modern era of so many blended families, I think we're having more and more and more older type adoptions.

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