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Hello, welcome to emotional badass, where Moxie meets mindful. I'm your host, Nikki Eisenhower, Life Coach and Psychotherapist, and on today's episode, I'm discussing the self-discipline to heal hyper-vigilance and overthinking.

Healing hyper-vigilance is an exercise in reparenting our inner psyche, and our inner psyche is what we mean when we say the inner child.

We hear a whole lot about self-love and self-care when we're growing, when we're doing self-development work, when we're healing, but how about self-discipline?

Now, discipline has a bad rap for recovering people, just like conflict has a bad rap because of how we grew up.

This function has an amazing way of becoming polar, meaning that if you're from a dysfunctional home, it is likely that you were raised much like I was with too much authoritarianism, which is a whole lot of control issues in the adults.

And this authoritarianism, this hyper-control over the children in such a household is often in the name of keeping the children safe, but it's stifles.

It's a whole lot of messaging that says, oh, baby.

And that takes away someone's autonomy, it takes away someone's ability to ask questions and ponder to have their wheels turned in their mind so that their decision-making skills can grow.

If a question is asked in this home, a question or a challenge, what's likely heard is, because I said so, because I'm the adult, that's why.

No real explanations, no real reasoning, just obeiable moments over teachable moments, which is why a lot of us have anxiety, because we missed tenderness and guidance in some of these moments, and we're left with a sense of confusion and shame because of the harshness of this authoritarian style.

If I knocked over a glass of milk as a child, it was a flip-out moment from my mom, and I heard things like, what's wrong with you? Oh, shit, why did you do that?

Anger, frustration, zero to ten reaction.

This gave me the impression that getting right and body and head, being a good person, meant that I needed to never make a mistake.

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