Lern Can’t Have Any F’ing Shots
The Rizzuto Show | Daily Comedy Podcast
The Rizzuto Show Comedy Podcast | 105.7 The Point | Hubbard Radio | Gamut Podcast Network
4.9 • 3.2K Ratings
🗓️ 11 August 2025
⏱️ 172 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
It's a sloppy Monday with the whole crew back for today's episode of the Rizzuto Show! We discuss Lern's upcoming booze-free family vacation, some wild antics in the WNBA, and a shocking NASCAR accident that will leave you on the edge of your seat. Plus, we hear about a couple who had a chicken tender dip-themed wedding officiated by the Hellman's mayonnaise mascot and some surprising Ozempic side effects.
- ‘Chimp Crazy’ star sentenced to nearly 4 years in prison for lying that primate had died
- Watchdog group calls for investigation into Francis Howell’s $229K payout to superintendent who never worked
- Couple Marries in Chicken Tender Dip-Themed Wedding, Officiated by a Mayonnaise Mascot: 'Very On-Brand for Us' (Exclusive)
- Ozempic Can 'Potentially' Change Your Personality — and Sex Life
- Nearly 1 in 4 Americans Want A Break from Physical Intimacy
- The depressing thing 1 in 10 people would rather do than have sex — even if it makes them feel terrible
Follow us @RizzShow @MoonValjeanHere @KingScottRules @LernVsRadio @IamRafeWilliams - Check out King Scott’s Linktr.ee/kingscottrules and Check out Moon’s bands GREEK FIRE @GreekFire GOLDFINGER @GoldfingerMusic THE TEENAGE DIRTBAGS @TheTeenageDbags and Lern’s band @LaneNarrows http://www.1057thepoint.com/Rizz
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Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | The Rizzuto Show podcast, powered by Dobbs. |
| 0:17.1 | Dobbs, tire, and auto centers are hiring. |
| 0:19.0 | Now with 42 stores. |
| 0:20.6 | Apply it, go to dobs.com today. |
| 0:23.0 | All right, let's hit it. |
| 0:25.6 | The listener discretion is advised. |
| 0:30.4 | Rizzuto. |
| 0:31.6 | Rizuto. |
| 0:32.7 | Rurudo? |
| 0:33.3 | Rurudo. |
| 0:42.8 | Hey! Oh, my God. Okay, all right. |
| 0:45.7 | I've been here for a couple days. |
| 0:47.2 | Let me see if I know how this still works. |
| 0:49.5 | Oh, it's like riding a bike. |
| 0:51.0 | Sure. |
| 0:51.9 | It's, it's going to be sloppy, but it'll be okay. It'll be acceptable. Sloppy Monday, let's go. It's going to get the job done. The job will be done. Good morning. All teams back together, at least for just today, because Learn leaves tomorrow for Lake of the Ozarks. Yes, the good land. Lake of the Ozarks. Yeah, dude. Not my idea. I am just a mere traveler and a family of my husbands. What do you mean? Don't you love the lake? We go over here. Let's be honest. Do I love the lake? I'm going to love it this year because we've got a pool with our house. Oh, nice. So I'm not going to get the syphilis from the water this year. You know what I mean? |
| 1:45.1 | Well. Do I love the lake? I'm going to love it this year because we got a pool with our house. So I'm not going to get the syphilis from the water this year. You know what I mean? Well, don't put your head under. I know. Don't put your head under. Nobody splashes too hard nearby. It'll get airborne. It will get airborne. It's very concentrated syphilis at Lake of the Ozas. I don't hate the lake. No, I don't hate it either. I just, and it's not just me. |
| 1:46.4 | The whole family we talk about it every year, |
| 1:48.5 | we're like, do we want to do like a ski trip just to mix it up? |
| 1:42.5 | We've just been going every year, and we bounce from Table Rock to the lake of the Ozarks, and it's just whatever. Does somebody have a boat? Oh, we do have a pontoon that we rent, yeah. |
| 1:44.0 | Okay, so who's the captain? |
| 1:46.0 | Tim's dad, Dana. |
... |
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