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I know.

I know. I know.

Why wouldn't you applaud?

Good evening, everyone.

Chelsea Clinton was the 130th runner to finish the Boston Marathon on Monday.

The weird part, all the runners who beat Chelsea were found strangled with finish line tape.

Suicide.

I know, it was.

A senior leader on Greta Thunberg's Freedom Flotilla is facing allegations of sexual misconduct.

Greta expressed shock saying, I haven't seen any boners, ever.

Thieves reportedly stole the vintage outfit that Madonna wore at Coachella. So be on the lookout

for the ancient relic and her clothes.

A Chinese national has been arrested for photographing American military aircraft in Nebraska.

Initially, no one had any problems with him taking a million photos because everyone assumed he was Japanese.

Oh, you like that one.

Well, you know what?

You never know.

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