This is an I-Heart podcast. Guaranteed Human.

I am Iyamla. I had a baby daddy relationship. I spent time in a relationship with a married man.

I had to learn the skills and tools required to make my relationships healthy, fulfilling, and loving.

Welcome to the R-Spot, a production of Shandaland Audio in partnership with IHeart Radio.

There's a story that I heard when I was in seminary about a country minister who used to go every Sunday after church to one of his parishioners' homes to have dinner because he was unmarried.

And there was this one couple, the wife was a dynamite cook, so he'd like to go there very often. He'd go to their home and he'd walk up on this porch and they had a huge hound dog, one of the brown hound dogs with the hangy face and the long floppy ears. And the hound dog would be laying on the porch whining. He'd walk past the dog and look at him. he'd look at it, he'd go on and eat his dinner, he'd come out, the dog was laying there whining.

Next week he went back, same thing, walk up on the porch, the dog is in the same spot, whining.

Eat dinner, come out, dog is in the same spot.

So by the fourth or fifth week, he turned to the farmer and his wife and he said,

every time I come here, your dog is whining.

Is there something wrong with him?

And the farmer looked at him and said, oh yeah, he's laying on a nail.

He said, laying on a nail, well, why doesn't he move?

And the farmer said, because it doesn't hurt bad enough.

We will stay in situations whining and complaining and making everybody and everything wrong, laying on the same nail.

But we will not move until it hurts bad enough.

My next guess is a prime example of what it looks like to lay on a nail.

Hi, Daphne.

Thank you so much for holding on and welcome to the R spot.

How can I support you today?

I am, been married 22 years this year and it's just kind of getting fading. Now, I met this man when I was 17.

He was 19, now I'm 47, four children.

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