Lawyers, what is the dumbest thing your client has ever done?

Mine wore a shirt that said,

Natural-born killer into a hearing,

for an assault charge.

I had him turn it inside out.

He went down anyway, but at least it was for, you know,

actually assaulting someone rather than the shirt.

Cashed in their retirement while in bankruptcy. When it's

in cash, it's not protected. My all-time favorite is a client I had who was charged with DUI, who

wanted to challenge the charges on the grounds that he didn't think he was drunk, and the tests

were administered properly. Guess who appeared at his court hearings, rip-roaring drunk,

twice. And then, both times, he got into his car and tried to drive away. And both times,

the police promptly stopped him, administered a breathalyzer, and charged him with DUI and related

offences. We didn't win that case. I was in court contesting a traffic

ticket and saw something like this. The guy was in court for a DUI and was seven sheets to the

wind. He was taken out in shackles. Fell over twice. Oof, I mean, these just sound like

alcoholics. I hope they both got the AA attendance included in the

sentencing. Told a client, don't say anything to the police, wait until I get there. He confesses

to a crime he isn't even being investigated for. This was relayed to me by the RP manager

of the office supply chain I worked for in high school. Individual stores didn't have

RP managers. They existed at the district level. A young man, let's call him Eric, had been with

the company for almost a year. He worked in office supplies and was by this time known to management

...