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Order of Man

Laurin Ponce | Why Opposite Sexes Struggle to Connect

Order of Man

Ryan Michler

Society & Culture, Business

4.89K Ratings

🗓️ 13 January 2026

⏱️ 77 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Some of the most misunderstood and emotionally charged topics for men are: attraction, compatibility, and what actually creates lasting connection with a woman. My guest, Laurin Ponce, helps us break down the difference between compatibility, connection, and chemistry - and why confusing those three is where most relationships go off the rails. We talk about what women truly find attractive in a grounded man, what it really means when a woman asks for space, why it feels like there are more rules for men, and how respect is built long before it's ever given. From attachment styles and masculine frame to why women's touch is medicine and how peace and respect create a relationship where both people feel safe and free, this conversation cracks open the unspoken dynamics most men are trying to navigate alone.

We also explore the practical side: non-negotiables, testing for compatibility, shared values, money, day-to-day living, and why partners are often mirrors and triggers for our own unresolved work. Laurin and I get into anxious versus avoidant dynamics, masculinity and femininity in modern relationships, emotional expression in men, vulnerability, physical attraction, and how connection is built - and rebuilt - over time

SHOW HIGHLIGHTS
00:00 - Understanding Men and Women
01:07 - Is There a Line in "Figuring Each Other Out"?
03:22 - Masculine and Feminine Polarity
05:08 - The Bowl and the Water Analogy
06:46 - Why Respect Starts With Self-Respect
08:21 - Non-Negotiables in Relationships
10:05 - Compatibility vs. Chemistry
13:18 - Core Values and Relationship Dealbreakers
14:58 - You Can't Out-Love Incompatibility
17:16 - Chemistry vs. Trauma Bonds
18:46 - What Real Chemistry Feels Like
19:29 - Peace and Respect in Relationships
22:47 - Creating Emotional Safety
26:52 - Masculine and Feminine Imbalance Today
30:30 - Polarity Always Finds Its Way
33:41 - Letting Go of Armor and Control
35:16 - Becoming the Partner You Want to Attract
39:13 - Consistency and Trust
40:10 - Physical Attraction and Discipline
43:02 - Connection Is Built Over Time
46:37 - Scarcity Mindset in Dating
48:02 - Where Men Should Start in Long-Term Relationships
50:32 - Rekindling Attraction and Intentionality
57:12 - "Cracking the Code" of Your Partner
01:00:29 - Never Get Comfortable in Love
01:05:05 - Serving Each Other Without Shame
01:06:23 - Where to Find Laurin's Work

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Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0

Some of the most misunderstood and emotionally charged topics for men are attraction, compatibility,

0:06.6

and what actually helps create lasting connection with a woman.

0:10.5

My guest today, Lauren Ponce, helps us break down the difference between compatibility,

0:15.5

connection, and chemistry, and why confusing those three is where most relationships go off the rails.

0:22.2

We talk about what women truly find attractive in a grounded man.

0:26.4

What it really means when a woman asks for quote unquote space,

0:30.5

why it feels like there are more rules for men than there might be for women

0:34.4

and how respect is built long before it's ever given.

0:38.5

We talk about different attachment styles and masculine frame to why women's touch is medicine

0:44.6

and how peace and respect create a relationship where both people feel safe and free.

0:52.8

This conversation genuinely cracks open the unspoken dynamics that most men are trying to navigate alone.

1:00.3

You're a man of action.

1:01.8

You live life to the fullest.

1:03.2

Embrace your fears and boldly chart your own path.

1:06.2

When life knocks you down, you get back up one more time.

1:09.6

Every time.

1:10.6

You are not easily deterred or defeated,

1:12.9

rugged, resilient, strong. This is your life. This is who you are. This is who you will become.

1:19.9

At the end of the day, and after all is said and done, you can call yourself a man.

1:25.9

Gentlemen, welcome to the Order of Man podcast.

1:28.1

I am Ryan Mickler.

1:29.1

I'm your host and the founder,

...

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