Laura Kerbey: The hidden costs of masking
Women & ADHD
Katy Weber
4.9 • 726 Ratings
🗓️ 6 October 2025
⏱️ 64 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
Episode 202 with Laura Kerbey.
“Masking is bloody exhausting. Then again, not masking is scary because we worry people won’t like us or accept us.”
Laura is an educator, consultant, and author who has been working with autistic children and young people for nearly 25 years. Laura is the founder of PAST, which stands for Positive Assessments Support and Training, and co-founder of KITE Therapeutic Learning Services, and she’s known internationally for her expertise in autism, PDA (Persistent Drive for Autonomy), and neurodivergent education.
She’s also the author of several books, including the newly released “The Kids’ Simple Guide to PDA” and “The Parents’ and Professionals’ Simple Guide to PDA” as well as The (Slightly Distracted) Woman’s Guide to Living with an Adult ADHD Diagnosis, which was released this past summer. Laura brings both professional expertise and lived experience to her work — she was diagnosed with ADHD in her forties and self-identifies as autistic.
In this episode, Laura and I discuss:
- Laura’s personal journey to her ADHD diagnosis in her forties, and her self-identification as autistic
- Why so many women are overlooked or misdiagnosed until adulthood
- The physical and mental impacts of masking and “seeming fine”
- Strategies for unmasking and advocating for oneself
- The power of reframing ADHD from “deficit” to difference
Laura is also offering a 6-week course in January for late-diagnosed and late-identifying women with ADHD, which is based on her book. For information or to register for the course: https://www.trybooking.com/uk/FFKX
Website: www.p-ast.co.uk
Instagram: @laura_kerbey
Facebook: @LauraKerbeyPast
Links & Resources:
The (Slightly Distracted) Woman’s Guide to Living with an Adult ADHD Diagnosis by Laura Kerbey
KITE Therapeutic Learning Services
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Episode edited by E Podcast Productions
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Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | it's not even criticism. It can just be feedback. It can be your own brain telling you that |
| 0:05.4 | you've done something wrong. I think it's a sense that you're constantly in trouble. |
| 0:11.5 | It's a sense that you've constantly done something wrong, that you've upset people, that |
| 0:16.8 | if your phone rings and it's a number you don't recognize, you think they're not going to be |
| 0:22.7 | calling me with good news. They're going to be calling me to say that I've done something wrong. |
| 0:31.3 | Hello and welcome to the Women and ADHD podcast. I'm your host, Katie Weber. I was diagnosed with ADHD at the age of 45, |
| 0:40.0 | and it completely turned my world upside down. I've been looking back at so much of my life, |
| 0:46.2 | school, jobs, my relationships, all of it with this new lens, and it has been nothing short of |
| 0:52.6 | overwhelming. I quickly discovered I was not the only |
| 0:55.5 | woman to have this experience and now I interview other women who like me discovered in adulthood |
| 1:00.9 | they have ADHD and are finally feeling like they understand who they are and how to best |
| 1:07.1 | lean into their strengths, both professionally and personally. |
| 1:17.9 | Hello, we are going to jump right in to episode 202 in which I interviewed Laura Kirby. |
| 1:23.3 | Laura is an educator, a consultant, and author who has been working with autistic children and young people for nearly 25 years. |
| 1:26.1 | Laura is the founder of Past, |
| 1:28.2 | which stands for positive assessments, support, and training, |
| 1:31.9 | and the co-founder of Kite Therapeutic Learning Services. |
| 1:35.4 | And while she's based in the UK, |
| 1:36.7 | she's known internationally for her expertise in autism, |
| 1:40.3 | PDA, persistent drive for autonomy, |
| 1:43.3 | and neurodivergent education. |
| 1:45.2 | Laura brings both professional expertise and lived experience to her work. |
... |
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