Ladies and gentlemen, please take your seats.

The show is about to begin.

I am so viscerally afraid of accidentally texting the chief of police.

Kind of weird, that's all she wrote.

You are in my thoughts and prayers in perpetuity.

Now mind you, I don't even have the chief of police's phone number, and why would I?

Hello, everyone, and welcome back to monologuing.

I'm Mads Mitch, and I am your host today and always

because well quite frankly this is literally my podcast so who else is going to host it. Happy freaking

Monday. It is Monday October 13th I think. Happy Monday October 13th I think it is indigenous

people's day here in the United States. I hope

a lot of you have the day off. And if so, I hope you're relaxing or I don't know, or whatever you do

for fun. I hope that you're having a great and fabulous day off. I am recording this episode so far in advance. I'm traveling starting tomorrow, so I needed to

get ahead of this. I also have six billion things I have to do today. So if this is a little bit

of a shorter episode, that is why it's just for my own personal sanity. I hope you can understand.

This week's episode, we are talking, we're talking

about things that you realized way too late in life, like way after it was socially acceptable

to realize that. I feel like all of us have a few of these in our arsenal. I was really

trying to think, I know that there's many, many that I have that I've experienced, but I cannot conjure up a

single one, although I can relate, I can relate definitely to some of the ones that you guys wrote

in about. So we're going to have a laugh about those. I'm very excited for that. But before we

dive into that, let's jump into act one. Cheers and tears. Cheers. Okay, well well this is kind of my cheers and my tears

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