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Garrison Keillor's Podcast

Last Wednesday, stuck in a traffic jam

Garrison Keillor's Podcast

Prairie Home Productions

Society & Culture, Fiction, Comedy Fiction, Improv, Comedy

4.81.1K Ratings

🗓️ 23 March 2024

⏱️ 8 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

New Yorkers have this ability, to express despair and municipal pride in the same sentence. I over-tipped him and hiked 12 blocks to my doctor who took my blood pressure and said it was excellent, so I owe Joe for getting me to exercise. I was so surprised though by his language describing his likely November opponent, which I read in a paper I won’t name, a two-word term, a participle of concupiscence modifying a word for a common human orifice. Joe, unlike the other guy, is a churchgoer and if my chest had a bazoom, I would clutch it, but it doesn’t, not yet. I just wonder, where are we headed?

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Transcript

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0:00.0

Book your ticket to happiness with Sun Express Airlines. I'm going to man. Joe Biden came to Manhattan for a couple of fundraisers last week which gave the

1:00.0

NYPD a fine excuse to close off as many streets as humanly possible, which is why some

1:09.0

people go into law enforcement for the chance to make civilians stand behind barriers.

1:17.0

And there I stood looking at York Avenue, abandoned except for a few cop cars, lights flashing.

1:25.0

I'd crossed over from the west side in a cab driven by a cab

1:31.0

who'd been at it for 39 years and who was highly irritated by the blockages

1:39.2

also said the economy is tanking, shops, or closing people abandoning the city,

1:47.5

crime up Wall Street in trouble.

1:51.0

But at the same time, he said said it's still number one the greatest city in the world.

1:57.0

New Yorkers have this ability to express despair and municipal pride in the same sentence.

2:07.0

So I overtipped him and I hiked 12 blocks to my doctor who took my blood pressure and said it was excellent.

2:17.0

So I owe Joe for getting me to exercise.

2:22.0

I was so surprised though by his language recently describing

2:30.0

his likely November opponent which I read in a paper, I won't name, not the Times,

2:38.0

a two-word term, a participle of concupiscence modifying a word for a common human orifice.

2:50.0

Joe, unlike the other guy, is a churchgoer, and if my chest had a bazoom, I would clutch

2:59.9

it, but it doesn't, not yet yet I just wonder where are we headed I was brought up in a nice

3:09.1

home with clean sheets where never a door was slammed,

3:15.0

nor did my family use bad language.

3:18.0

We even shrank at the euphemisms.

3:21.0

And so, one day, not long ago sitting in Starbucks the stool slid out from under me and I spilled half a large latte in my lap and I said and this is a direct quote

3:38.7

oh for heaven's sake.

...

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