Away in the shuttle, take a break in your car

Shopped at X-Freedom duty, Christmas markets aren't far

Visit Paris or Strasbourg, bring your skis for a glide

More fun and a high street, you can save this you'll tie

Book a trip now and enjoy great savings on duty free shopping

Visit Eurotunnel.com for full-times and conditions

Harry Saunders stared moodily into his pint

Trying to figure out exactly when his life had gone down the crapper

Wasn't easy

Seemed for as long as he could remember everything he touched turned to shit

Wasn't that he was an unpleasant kind of guy? I'm sure

He could get rowdy after a few drinks

It was at one time he'd been caught stealing from some tourist from a country

Who gave a tin shit?

It wasn't anyone from the village, just some rich prick probably from

London way, some guy with a flashy car, summer home and Barbados

Who's the loss of one mobile phone to a rich prick like that?

He'd been caught lifting the phone from the man's back pocket, the thing that had really hurt

Was it had been one of his fellow villagers that had grasped him in

Old Maureen from the village fudge shop

Calling out a warning in her old, warbling, cracked voice

The man had spun around, clamping a large, hairy hand on Harry's wrist

...