Hello, it's

It's the radio segment that's teaching men how to self-care

with new motor oil-infused bath bombs.

Relax and unwind with the industrial aroma

that'll give your skin that healthy, glowing sheen

like you were just recovered next to the Exxon Valdez.

Wow.

Look at you, you little duckling.

Oil spill joke from 20 years ago.

Still funny with laser stories.

The segment where we read weird news stories around the globe,

just like everyone else does, except we've got a laser.

Those other greasy weasels just don't.

His first laser stories out of Ohio. A 37-year-old man named Matthew Pancake was up to no good. Oh my God. What a great name. You need to marry him so you could be Mrs. Pancake. Oh, my gosh. We're on the back of sweatshirts. Pancake. Around 2 a.m., Mr. Pancake broke into a famous footwear store, and after that, he snuck into a restaurant called Roosters, where he was seen on camera wearing leopard print pajamas. Live your best life, pancake!

Then he kept the animal theme party going by breaking into a pet store called Petland,

where he set a bunch of animals free to live amongst the world.

He had good intention.

Yeah, that's like a child thought, right?

He's like a modern day snow white.

I don't see the issue, you know?

Police finally tracked down pancake in a big lot's parking lot.

Oh, God, of course.

...