It's the radio segment that's giving you more alone time with the new anti-social doorbell.

When somebody rings it, it just whispers, you don't have to answer that.

And it turns off all the lights in your house.

Oh, nice.

That's nice.

We're not here.

Passive aggressively tell your neighbors to go away with laser stories. The segment where we read weird news stories around the globe, just like everyone else does, except we've got a laser. Those other sham-a-lama ding-dongs just don't. This first laser story is out of Nottingham, England. There's a lot of different ways to deal with the stress of being a high school teacher.

But Anika Kapoor at Genoagli City Academy did it with alcohol.

Uh-oh.

Oh, wow.

I mean, you don't blame her, do we?

No, might not be the healthiest way, but I get it.

Last week, Miss Kapoor was in front of her class, slurring her words and acting in an exaggerated manner, which caused students to ask if she was drunk. Okay, I thought we were waiting until happy hour, Jeff. She's starting at 7 a.m. All right. And that's when she picked up a plastic water bottle that was filled with gin and pounded some more.

She then told the kids, quote, this class terrifies me.

She then told the kids, quote, this class terrifies me.

Then began to dry heave in front of them.

Okay.

It's the most honest thing she's ever said to the class. As the students looked on in disbelief, Annika ran to the teacher's lounge to actually vomit. We didn't take it outside the class. And she made it to the toilet. Yeah. That's expert level. It's so responsible. She was suspended and apologized at her hearing in front of the school board.

She said it all happened by mistake.

What?

Because the gin bottle had been in her bag from a birthday weekend, and she had realized it wasn't water.

Oh, yeah.

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