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It's the radio segment that challenged Gwyneth Paltrow to a kale chip-eating contest.

Oh, she's going to totally win that. Gwyn tapped out after a chip and a half. Oh, she got full. That was her lunch and dinner. I see. For the entire week. So, rattle on with victorious laser stories. This segment where we read weird news stories around the globe, just like everyone else does, except we've got a laser. Those other goopy droopies just don't.

This first laser story is out of Lubbock.

Oh, fine.

Three cops on horseback were riding around recently when they saw a guy walking down the street instead of on the sidewalk.

He seemed suspicious, so they went up and talked to him.

Okay.

They thought he might have drugs, so they asked to search his pockets, and he said no. And then one of the cops joked that the horse he was on was a drug-sniffing horse. Oh, no. You better be honest with us. Dude, I would have, obviously, I already laughed. I would have lost it. I mean, you are a funny cop. Oh, you wouldn't have fallen for it?

Oh, no.

Obviously, he's kidding. A horse sniffing. I don't know. He's asking. He's asking to search you. I don't know how jokey he is. Why, you guys believe this? Well, the guy immediately took off running. Wow, he obviously did too. There's body cam footage of the whole thing, and the deputies thought the guy fleeing was also a joke.

Oh, yeah. Wow, he obviously did too. There's body cam footage of the whole thing,

and the deputies thought the guy fleeing was also a joke.

Oh, yeah, that would be a funny joke where he's like, uh-oh.

But then he didn't stop.

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