It's the radio segment that's coming up on a birthday, and the only present he wants

is to re-enact his own birth with his mom and his original doctor.

That's a celebration.

Sweet.

I like it.

Not sure what kind of cake you eat after it.

It's laser stories.

What do you want to eat after we get some?

The segment where we read weird news stories around the globe, just like everyone else does,

except we have a laser.

Those other wipeaholics just don't.

This first laser story is out of Florida, which is normally how we start pretty much every

laser story.

Please run the middle of a standoff with a gun-toting teenager when the unthinkable happened.

After six hours going back and forth with the armed suspect, who came rolling by a naked

woman on a golf cart?

That's not what I expected.

Sixty-two-year-old Jessica Elizabeth Smith had apparently been drinking at the local golf

course when she decided it was time to go home.

No one knows exactly when all her clothes came off.

Even Jessica herself doesn't really know.

She's like, oh, it was a nice breeze or something.

...