This is an I-Heart podcast.

Guaranteed Human. Ridiculous crime is a production of IHeart Radio. And there she is. Here I am. Look at me. Elizabeth Dutton. It's me, Zaron Burnett. How are you doing? I'm good. You doing good? Yeah, you? Let's skip past that, and we'll get into my question, which is, do you know what's ridiculous? I do.

I do know it's ridiculous. It's a mashup, but a good one. Hannah on Instagram, founder of Folkways Press, just sent this to me. It's a mashup of this glass, like eyeglasses company

camp that they do the, they're like teamed up with

the US Forest Service for Smokey bear oh and I like him I was like well this is cool and then I

looked at all of them like these kind of look like the glasses I already wear so now I think I need

some okay and it's a good mashup. What? Yeah. So it's S.H. Woodshop.com. And you go and they have the smoky bear, what have you. But yeah, they're pretty dope looking glasses here. They look like they're made out of wood, but I think they're not.

New Year, New Elizabeth?

Like, what is this? This is the mashup? I don't even hate. And you know what? I'm going to stop right there. That's it. It's not going to drag on forever. No quotes from a PR person from the company? No, I'm just going to be like, oh, you know what? They make smoky bird glasses. and I love the Forest Service and the proceeds go to help fight wildfires.

Wow.

It just gets better and better. 26, you're already looking up. I know. You're welcome. Well, I got something ridiculous for you, girl. Yes, sir. Imagine you're a world famous athlete, and you're one of the fastest to ever do it. I don't have to imagine. I know you don't.

But right up until your crimes eventually catch up to you.

Oh.

Because as you know, Elizabeth, the past is never truly gone.

That is true. Yeah. This is ridiculous crime, a podcast about absurd and outrageous capers, heists, and cons. It's always 99% murder-free and 100% ridiculous.

Ridiculous.

Oh, Elizabeth. This is a story I've waited to tell you. Really? It's a favorite of mine.

It's part one of a multi-part story about doping in sports. Oh. The other parts I'll tell you at a later date. But for now, part one is about the world's most famous cyclist Lance Armstrong. Lance. Lance. I've told you about my personal connection to Lance Armstrong. It's not really much of a connection. It's more like of a long-running bit.

But my friend Derek and I had, we had this little game we'd like to play when we weren't on our own bikes and we were just rolling around in cages, I mean cars.

And anytime that we saw a cyclist in their Lycra gear, we'd both yell, Lance!

Why that made us laugh so hard, I can't tell you, but it did. My point is,

Lance Armstrong has been a joke to us for a long time. Yeah, yeah. Mostly because every July,

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