I'm Peter Sagle. NPR is very serious, mostly. It treats newsmakers with all due respect, almost all the time. It brings you the most important information about the issues that really matter, usually, and it never asks famous people about things they don't know anything about, except once in a while. Join us for the great exception. Listen to Wait Wait, Don't Tell Me, the news quiz from NPR.

Welcome, welcome friends, Romans, countrymen to The Late Show.

I'm your host Stephen Colbert.

Ladies and gentlemen, as I speak, we are on day two of the government shutdown.

There's no end in sight. Services are closed. Federal workers are going without pay. Things are so rough. Uncle Sam is already selling feet picks.

Those little piggies. Now, pretty good. Yeah. Give them a 4.3 on Wiki feet.

Wow. Wow.

Donald Trump, of course, has tried every possible option to end the shutdown.

He's blamed Democrats.

Not only, but also, not only, but also. Not only is Trump not trying to negotiate an end of the shutdown.

He's now using it as a way to squash things he doesn't like, touting his shutdown as an unprecedented opportunity to cut more democratic priorities. Yes. No, it's not a shutdown.

It's a shuttunity. You know what they say? When God closes a food inspection program,

he opens a lysteria eye break. What words for that effect?

What words for that effect?

Now, this isn't the first government shutdown.

This has happened many times before, even since we've been doing this show.

There's a process that you follow.

When a shutdown starts, people are what's called furloughed. Okay? They don't come to work.

They're not paid. But when the shutdown's over, everyone gets their job back, often with back pay.

But now, Trump is threatening to use this excuse to fire a whole bunch more people from the federal government, posting,

Republicans must use this opportunity of Democrat forced closure to clear out

Deadwood. And I'm told, is this true? I'm told we have a response from the Deadwood.

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