Welcome. Welcome, one and all, in here, out there all around the world to the late show. I'm your host, Stephen Colbert.

What's up? I want to start off by wishing everybody a happy Cyber Monday. Thank you.

Thank you for glancing up from your phone to see my face.

Now get back in there.

There's a sale in those rings that tell you you're not getting enough sleep.

Of course, holiday deals kicked off on Friday,

and when there's cash, the president would be grabbing.

Last week, he sent an email to supporters that said,

To celebrate Black Friday, President Trump decided to reduce the price of his iconic red

MAGA hat argument to just $37.

That's right.

For a limited time only, he dramatically reduced the price of his famed hat ornament, which

previously was available only on his website for $30.

So Trump's Black Friday deal is to charge you more.

But wait, there's less.

Call now.

And while you're on the phone, I'll sneak into your house, steal some stuff, and put your pet in the dishwasher.

But that's not all.

Trump sent another email promising a new low price on a Trump calendar for $32,

which is available on his website for $25.

Okay, but for those extra seven bucks, they throw in an MP3 of Lee Greenwood singing all the dates.

I'm proud to be your calendar, starting with January.

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