all of these people in my life I can deserve I'm feeling all pissed off and hurt I need to know if I am the jerk oh am I the jerked

okay got somebody here want to know if they're a jerk for leaving their marriage after finding out their husband had a child

now the husband's 29 she's 28 and when they got married they agreed at the start of their relationship that they did not want to be a step-parent or be with somebody who had kids. That was one thing they connected on. But into our marriage, I find out a few months ago that he actually had an eight-year-old daughter that he never knew about.

Oh, he didn't know. He did not know. So he said, no, I don't

have any other kids. He didn't lie. He didn't lie. He just didn't know. But apparently this daughter

lost her mom two years ago, lived with an aunt, and was just sent to live with a father she never knew. And this is her

dad and here she is. And now she's saying, I told you, I never wanted to be a stepparent. And now of a

sudden you've got an eight-year-old daughter I didn't know about. Well, my husband has begged and

pleaded with me to stay and raise her with him. But I just don't know that

my opinion has changed, especially in such a complex situation. This girl is eight. She's grieving.

She's angry. She needs support. And look, I am not the right person to provide what she needs.

Now, as much as I love my husband, this discovery has changed everything for me.

Already I've moved out. I filed for divorce, and I made my decision clear to his family.

Now, they've been trying to get me to reconsider with his mom saying that I'm stronger than I realize, but the truth is,

I'm not happy about him having a child, and I know I'll never feel like she is my own.

I understand this may seem selfish, but this is just a boundary that I clearly said at the

beginning of our marriage. So am I really a jerk? I mean, it's your boundary, it's your stance, it's, it's

what you wanted. I don't understand it because I feel like this is your chance to do something. He didn't lie to you. Life throws you things sometimes that you can't plan or expect for. But I mean, I would think of it as a blessing.

I would try to spin it.

We're going to ignore that whole part of the wedding about for better or for worse.

Yeah.

Through health, we're going to forget all those words.

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