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Jay'sAnalysis

Kurt Metzger: Kurp Derps with Jay Dyer

Jay'sAnalysis

Jay Dyer

Education, Comedy, Arts, Performing Arts

4.4902 Ratings

🗓️ 8 April 2026

⏱️ 74 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Kurt is here https://www.youtube.com/@kurtmetzgercomedy

Get your Authentic DERP Shirts here while supplies last: https://myfamilythinksimcrazy.bigcart...

Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/jay-sanalysis--1423846/support.

Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0

Yeah, I'm just a curb.

0:02.0

I'm only a curb and I'm durpity-derping on the interwirt. Well, it's a long, long skirk to the viral surf. It's a long, long whirp while I'm spucking the kermurk, but I know I'll go some murp. At least I hope and pray that I whirp, but today I'm still just a curb. Well, I'm just the curb and I derpity durp. I old you come and derp with murp. From the

0:22.2

depths of the furp, I start as a smurf hoping for likes and chirps to climb the whirp. Then it's off to the trurps when a big derps to surf. If I pass all the chirps, I be shared far in work. But if I get flagged, Go we gurp, back to the draft, now gurp, we work in re-perp, in the endless cunscan, fitter,

0:40.5

please buy a t-shirt. flag though we dirp back to the draft now dirp we work in re-perp in the endless

0:39.0

constant ferp plea buy your t-shirt elkit kerp off serp ha ha ha ha ha ha ha have you read their

0:47.5

phonetics oh you come and dirk with burp are we recording yet

0:52.2

yep yes sir do remember in uh lucy Are we recording yet? Do you remember?

1:00.1

In Lucie, what's his name, Luke Besant?

1:00.5

Bisson.

1:01.8

Yeah, so.

1:02.5

Luke Boussaint.

1:04.8

Yeah, it's Scarlett Johansson.

1:11.2

Imagine if a woman could use her entire brain was the premise of the movie

1:13.7

and is God

1:16.3

Yeah she takes

1:17.6

Like sure he absorbs the drug

1:20.4

And then like it shows her getting smarter

1:22.1

Through animals

1:22.7

It's like stage one

1:24.2

Oh no she's as smart as a dolphin now

1:26.3

And she looks into the eyes of the first monkey girl

1:32.1

lucy right oh is that what that was supposed to be she's the first conscious they call her lucy right

...

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