The peak of tiny telephone was intoxicating. When you own a business you get

dragged into capitalism whether you want to or not and one of the first things

that happened was I wanted to like expand the empire. This is how empires are

lost right. In 2006 I met someone we'll call Madeline while touring in France.

We made a decision very early on to get married. Madeline picks me up from the

airport and I said did you cheat on me? I'm not sure if I've like really recovered.

You're not really allowed to bring grief or depression or anything else in the

studio. It's almost like I became a worse person. John his personality and his

his like day-to-day existence as a human outside the studio even. It just got

more challenging and darker. I am touring with a vengeance at this point. We are

driving on the 80 freeway in Ohio and I look up. I scream, shake up you know kind

of jerks the wheel to the left. I don't know we may be missed the car by 20 yards.

It was horrifying to me. I was like I'm never gonna tour again. I remember him

having kind of like a rough time with that tour. I was just like man I wanted to

do this forever. I didn't know that it had like a timeline on it. You know every

time I talked to him it was him just unloading his stress and anxiety on me.

This place was so important to the creative heart of the Bay Area and he

really didn't want it to to dissolve. That was really hard for him. I was devastated

when I learned that it was gonna shut down. Having that job gave me so much hope

and I just love working there. And that's the point where we hit ultra-satowness

and it really really peaked with this moment where I couldn't pay the rent in

San Francisco and I thought whatever this is isn't gonna happen again. Like this

...