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Guaranteed Human

It is Tuesday, November the 18th.

This is the warning.

Let's talk about perfection.

This is a diamond.

It's been forged over billions of years.

This is an Adonis.

The Greeks thought it the highest ideal of the human form. Beautiful.

The aspiration of the artist of the human being has always been steeped in the idea of an upward progression in humanity's knowledge.

It's evolution. This, of course, is denied by Mike Johnson, a fanatic who believes

that people and dinosaurs live together 10,000 years ago. But you get the point, which is that human

beings, having emerged from the primordial goo, are evolving ever upwards. Now, while that is true, it is also true that when we

find the highest ideals, we will also find their opposite. We will find over time an evolution

for the good, but also towards other types of perfections. In this instance,

of course, I talk about the perfection of the buffoon. And though there are many buffoons,

there is none that stands greater than this perfect specimen.

The goo-go-eyed freak show of the FBI, the paranoid prevaricator who chases special agents

from room to room, polygraphing them for their loyalty, who, in a fit of rage,

fires the man in charge of the Bureau's jet aircraft. You see them on all of those shows.

That G5, that G650, that takes the FBI special behavioral sciences

team to hunt down the serial killers or the special agents to get the bank robbers or

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