Disgraceland is a production of Double Elvis.

The stories about Justin Bieber are insane.

He mixed drag racing with a DUI when he was just 19 years old.

He once smoked so much grass on a private jet that the pilots had to wear oxygen masks.

He went from heartthrob to hedonists seemingly overnight

with a taste for pills and for partying with his fratbro of a father.

His partying was so out of control

that his bodyguards had to check his pulse

throughout the night to make sure he was still alive.

His behavior compelled over a quarter million Americans

to petition for his deportation,

and one deranged superfan even plotted his murder.

But in between his laundry list of reckless, shameful,

and often downright stupid infractions,

yeah, I'll say it, Justin Bieber has made some great music.

Unlike that music I played for you at the top of the show,

that wasn't great music.

That was a preset loop from my Melotron called Cindy Lopper Eyes, MK1.

I played you that loop because I can't afford the rights to timber by Pitbull featuring Kesha.

And why would I play you that specific slice of sleazy square dance cheese could I afford it?

Because that was the number one song in America on January 22, 2014.

And that was the day Justin Bieber woke up in a Miami jail cell.

...