I don't know what to wear on dates.

Now, I can tell you what to wear on dates with emphasis, with confidence, with expertise.

I cannot tell you exactly what to do on dates because I don't think

that I'm great at that. Like, lean into your feminine side, be super flirty. Okay. I could do that for

probably 15 minutes of the date, but the rest I'm going to just be myself and probably scare

off 98% of the men. I could say don't drink more than two drinks, but certainly I've drunk four

drinks on a day. I told a guy last weekend, hi, if you want to meet my friend and I out, I'm about to over-serve myself. That was my opening line. And he certainly came, and I didn't do anything I was going to regret, and I didn't go anywhere I didn't want to go, and I just hung out and then went home, but I'm just letting you know that that was my opening line. Hi, about to over-serve myself.

Come and get it. Like drink two drinks. Okay, don't sleep with someone. I generally don't because I don't want to be in someone's house and I don't want them to be in my house, but I can tell you this in my life. I have not many times, but I have probably broken every rule that I've ever made in my life.

But I can tell you what to wear on a date and what not to wear because so many people in this

dating community, men and women have no fucking idea what to wear. They are a mess and a disaster

and they're clueless and the hair and the everything. Okay. Men, we don't need

you to wear logos. We don't need you to wear symbols. We don't need you to wear the alphabet on your

apparel accessories. We do not want it. We do not need it. Let's just start with that. I thought that

was clear, but evidently it's not. We don't need you to label the brands that you're wearing. We get it. Your car will suffice. Okay. Men, you're not Mark Zuckerberg. You don't need to be wearing a hoodie. Okay. Women don't dress every time with every fucking piece of skin hanging out. Like women wear the tits, the arms, the legs, everything. You have a triangle over the vagina. That's what you've left to the imagination. This is all that we have. But don't cover yourself up. Please don't wear something that says, I'm closed for business. Please do not wear like a long sleeve collared shirt. Please do not wear a blazer with a collared shirt under it.

Please do not wear a turtleneck. I love turtlenecks as much as anyone. Don't wear a turtleneck to a date. I even have a sheer turtleneck. Like you could wear it with like a bodysuit under. It'd be so sexy. But nothing screams clothes for business like something up to your chin on your neck.

Okay, it's giving Diane Keaton in the movie

Something's Got to Give. for business like something up to your chin on your neck. Okay, it's giving Diane Keaton in the movie

something's got to give. You want to show a hint to some cleavage, lovely wear a long sleeve or a short

sleeve. You don't need a tank and the cleavage. If you did the tank and the cleavage, the rest has to be

covered up. We must have long pants and we cannot have our stomach showing.

You cannot. If you're going to do, you cannot have your cleavage showing, your arm showing, and your legs. Pick your spots, people. You want to show your legs? I might even allow some cleavage with some long sleeves. Or that would be the only caveat to the turtleneck. It would be a sleeveless turtlene, like your arms would be showing and your legs would be showing.

Just do not show everything at the same time.

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