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Talk To Me: The Debra Fileta Podcast

Junk Food Relationships: Healthy Relationships AREN’T Convenient

Talk To Me: The Debra Fileta Podcast

AccessMore

Christianity, Default, Religion & Spirituality, Talk Radio

4.8808 Ratings

🗓️ 13 August 2018

⏱️ 30 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

There’s a reason junk-food is so popular. It makes you feel good for a little while, it’s quick, and most of all – it’s convenient. But at the end of the day, it destroys your health and expands your waist-line. And we ultimately end up regretting it. The same thing kind of goes for “junk food relationships”.  We all say we want healthy relationships, but in reality, most of us tend to go for what’s easy and convenient rather than what’s good for us. Today I’m chatting with a woman who has a tendency to go for the convenience of dating the guy next door…whether or not he’s good for her. And this pattern is starting to have a negative impact on her life. Maybe for you it’s not the guy or girl next door, but it’s important to ask yourself if you tend to do what’s convenient, rather than what’s best for your life and relationships.  Part of the problem is that so many people today confuse their needs with their preferences. We end up making majors out of minors, and minors out of majors. If we’re not careful, what’s OKAY ends up taking the place of what’s BEST in our lives (TWEET IT!) Healthy Relationships Look Like This: Today’s conversation is so, so, so good. On this episode, we’re talking through: Learning to choose healthy relationships vs. convenient relationships. Understanding the difference between your needs and your preferences. Exploring how loneliness can drive us to make bad relationship choices, and how to deal with that loneliness. Learning to deal with uncomfortable emotions rather than try to sedate them. Understanding how to set boundaries in relationships that aren’t good for us. Finding the courage to say no to the people and situations that are going to bring us down. Practical steps to making a red, green, yellow list of the things you’re looking for in a relationship even before you’re in a relationship. Why marrying a believer is NOT optional. Single, dating, or married this show has something for you. Tune in to today’s episode to hear licensed counselor, Debra Fileta, as she answers her caller through this unscripted conversation in Episode 006 of the Love + Relationships Podcast. SUBSCRIBE AND LISTEN ON iTUNES BY CLICKING HERE Additional Ways To Listen: STITCHER Want to be on the Love + Relationships Podcast?  Go to truelovedates.com/loveandrelationships/ to learn more. Resources Mentioned on the Love + Relationships Podcast and Additional Show Notes: Learn the difference between what you WANT vs. what you NEED in a relationship. Check out my book, True Love Dates: Your Indispensable Guide to Finding the Love of Your Life Ready to have some brave conversations about marriage? Single, dating, or married, this book is for you. Choosing Marriage: Why It Has To Start With We > Me Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcript

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0:00.0

Hey, everyone, welcome back to the Love and Relationships podcast. I'm your host, Deborah Felida,

0:22.7

and it is so great to get to chat with you about all things love, sex, dating, marriage, and

0:27.9

singleness. For those of you who don't know me, I'm a licensed professional counselor and author

0:32.8

specializing in relationship issues. I've written hundreds of relationship articles across the

0:37.8

internet and my relationship advice blog, True Love Dates.com, reaches millions of people with the

0:44.3

message of healthy relationships. And that's really what I'm passionate about.

0:53.5

Today we're talking about learning to recognize the majors in relationships versus the minors in the relationships.

1:02.3

What really matters and what doesn't?

1:06.2

What are your needs versus your preferences?

1:09.7

Sometimes it's hard to distinguish. And I think we all have a tendency to go for what's convenient

1:14.6

in a relationship.

1:16.4

But how does that end up impacting us in the long term?

1:21.3

We're going to chat today with a caller about just that.

1:25.0

Let me introduce you to today's caller.

1:32.9

Thank you. about just that. Let me introduce you to today's caller. Today we have Chelsea from Houston, Texas, joining us on the show.

1:37.8

Hi, Chelsea.

1:39.4

Hi, Deborah.

1:40.2

It's good to have you.

1:42.0

I'd love to go ahead and dig into your question for me. What do you have for me today?

1:47.2

Yeah, so my question is, why do I find myself liking guys based on proximity? For example, whenever I've moved recently in the last few years. And in most of the places I lived, I find myself going out with guys next door,

2:04.3

even though they're not really my type.

2:07.5

And I end up, like, hanging out with them a lot.

...

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