Julie and John Gottman on How to ‘Turn Conflict into Connection'

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KQED

Politics, News, News Commentary

4.6 • 656 Ratings

🗓️ 16 February 2024

⏱️ 56 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

According to relationship experts, Drs. Julie and John Gottman, it is perfectly OK to go to bed angry. Sometimes a couple needs time to calm down and reset. As they note, “Fights can get intense and messy…We get hijacked by our emotions, our pasts, our old hurts. But if you can get at what’s underneath, there’s so much compassion and understanding.” In their latest book, “Fight Right,” the Gottmans explode misconceptions about fighting and share ways to get through conflict and find connection. We talk to the Gottmans and hear from you: how do you handle conflict in your relationship? Guests: Julie Schwartz Gottman, co-author "Fight Right: How Successful Couples Turn Conflict into Connection" - Schwartz Gottman is a clinical psychologist, therapist and researcher and with her husband Dr. John Gottman, is the co-founder and president of the Gottman Institute. John Gottman, co-author "Fight Right: How Successful Couples Turn Conflict into Connection" - Gottman is a psychologist, researcher, therapist, and with his wife Dr. Julie Schwartz Gottman, he is the co-founder, The Gottman Institute. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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0:40.5	Data thresholds may vary. From KQED in San Francisco, I'm Alexis Madrigal.
0:59.5	Today we're talking about how to fight.
1:02.2	Not the judo kind of fighting, but the sorts of conflicts that couples of all genders and
1:07.0	sexualities get into because, how could you not?
1:10.9	And the legendary relationship researchers and therapists, the Gottman's,
1:15.3	Julie Schwartz Gottman and John Gottman, are here to talk about their new book, Fight, Right,
1:21.3	a guide to a better kind of fight.
1:23.7	Lesson number one, all couples fight, so we might as well get good at it.
1:27.9	And they'll walk us through what they found from working with thousands of couples and in their own relationship.
1:34.3	That's all coming up next after this news. Welcome to Forum. I'm Alexis Madrigal. I know myself a bit, and I know how I go wrong in relationship conflict. I'm always trying to see the bright side to glimpse resolution to minimize the trouble in getting from A to B.
2:01.6	And when I do that, it's hard to listen, it's hard to feel even, and it's hard to express my own needs.
2:07.6	And even if you aren't making my kind of mistakes in your relationship fights, nobody's perfect, no?
	...

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