Welcome to the Judge John Hodgman podcast. I'm Bailiff Jesse Thorn. This week, Judge

and Jewry. Becca brings the case against her sister, Jessica. Becca considers herself

to be part Jewish, due to the sister's Jewish heritage and Becca's own sense of cultural

identity. Jessica objects to this. She says that since she and her sister were raised

in the Catholic faith, they can't, in good conscience, call themselves part Jewish.

Who's right? Who's wrong? Only one man can decide. Please rise as Judge John Hodgman enters

the courtroom. So, Sussman is at work one day. You know, he has the orthodontic practice up there

in London, Ontario, and he's making a plaster mold for connective bridge work in the mouth of one

of his patients, Russell Cress. The mold dries and Sussman's examining it one day before fabricating

an appliance. They notice it's something unusual. There appears to be something engraved on the inside

of the patient's lower incisors, Hebrew letters, and they spell out, help me, judge me. This is in a

Goi's mouth, Jesse. So, Sussman calls the Goi back on the pretense of needing additional

measurements for the appliance. How are you? You've noticed any other problems with your teeth?

No, but there it is. Help me. Judge me. Son of a gun. Sussman goes home. Can Sussman eat? Sussman

can't eat? In Sussman's sleep? Sussman can't sleep. Sussman looks at the molds of his other

patients. Goi and Jewelike seeking other messages. He finds none. He looks in his own mouth. Nothing.

He looks in his wife's mouth. Nothing, but Sussman is an educated man. Not the world's greatest

sage, maybe, but he knows the thing or two from the Kabbalah. He knows that every Hebrew letter has

its numerical equivalent. So, it's eight, four, five, four, four, seven, three, seven digits,

a phone number, maybe. Hello? Do you know a Goi named Krauss, Russell Krauss? Who? Where have I

called? Canadian house of pizza and garbage in London, Ontario. Thanks so much. And he goes.

It's a Canadian house of pizza and garbage. You've pizza? Garbage, what have you? Sussman goes home.

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