Judge Aileen Cannon Sucks - A Definitive Guide

Opening Arguments

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Atheist, Opinion, Harvard, News, Politics, Legal, Law, Liberal, Supremecourt

4.3 • 3.7K Ratings

🗓️ 22 March 2024

⏱️ 61 minutes

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Summary

Who is Aileen Cannon? Why is Aileen Cannon? We answer these important questions and many more in this brief review of the incomprehensible jurisprudence of the best federal judge in Fort Pierce, Florida.

1. Aileen Cannon's Senate Judiciary Committee nomination questionnaire

2. Map of federal Southern District of Florida

3. Democratic questioning at Aileen Cannon's group confirmation hearing

4. Judge Cannon's Order on Plaintiff's Motion for Judicial Oversight and Additional Relief (9/5/22)

5. 11th Circuit's reversal of Cannon's 9/5/22 order re: 100 classified documents (9/21/22)

6. 11th Circuit's reversal of Cannon's equitable jurisdiction ruling (12/1/22)

7. Jack Smith's Motion for Reconsideration & Stay (2/8/24)

8. Government's Opposition to Motion for Additional Time to File Certain Motions (2/8/24)

9. Judge Cannon's order denying Trump's motion to dismiss on vagueness grounds (without prejudice)(3/14/24)

10. Relevant portion of the Espionage Act

11. Judge Cannon's weird order demanding that the parties engage in a fantasy thought experiment about law that doesn't exist (3/18/24)

Transcript

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0:00.0	I'm sorry which of us went to law school We don't have to work with any lawyer we don't want and that means you're fired.
0:22.8	Why is it only the witnesses must swear to tell the whole truth?
0:30.6	Why isn't the same oath administered to the attorneys?
0:34.0	And there he is, he's nothing.
0:37.0	It's the Emperor without clothes.
0:39.0	Welcome to opening arguments. The podcast where a comedian takes lawyers to court.
0:46.0	Don't take ethics advice from Alan Dershowitz.
0:50.0	Hello and welcome to opening arguments. This is episode
0:56.1	one thousand and sixteen. I'm your host Thomas Smith that over there is
0:59.6	real life
1:03.6	crimigration lawyer that's because he's both a criminal and an immigration
1:05.3	lawyer
1:06.3	uh it's Matt Cameron how you doing
1:08.4	i'm starting to think maybe i should be a federal judge
1:11.1	qualified
1:12.0	I'm feeling extremely qualified right now.
1:14.0	Oh, well, I don't know because the one qualification you're missing is that you're not a total right-wing
1:19.2	hack.
1:20.2	I forgot to join the Federalist Society.
1:21.6	Yeah, exactly. I was on my list. At what point will the Federalist Society. Yeah, exactly.
1:23.0	Yeah.
1:24.0	At what point will the Federalist Society be two left for these judges, though, you know?
	...

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