You're listening to Comedy Central.

Pfff.

I remember my first night on the show.

It was while I auditioned on, I think, a Friday

and they told me, come back four days later with a suit.

Uh, because I had no money to pay for the suits.

Uh, luckily I had one suit because I got married

a few months earlier and I came back with a suit

and the day was bonkers.

Uh, I arrived and oddly enough, it was the day...

uh, Crimea wasn't baited.

And I know.

Uh, we actually know where that place is now.

Because I didn't that morning and I showed up.

Uh, and I went to this morning meeting

which is an amazing thing at the Daily Show.

Um, so many funny, thoughtful people in a room

and I get thrown in there in such a welcoming place

and there's John Stewart, someone I've watched

since I was very little.

Uh, he's very old and decrepit.

Also very short, small man.

...