It's the Rachel Potchow with Stephen Colberg.

John Stuart's here, everybody.

I love you.

My friend, and you are my friend, you know, I love talking to it.

We've known each other for many years.

Many.

But here's the thing is that, yes, human interaction in the real world

is nice, but to truly know someone you have to interview them on a talk show.

That's right. That's when they're most revelatory.

You would have spent many hours talking on the phone, person, over meals.

But do we really know anything about each other?

I don't know.

So what we've done here is that I'm going to give you the Colberg questionnaire

at the end of which you will be fully known.

Are you prepared to be revealed?

Open book.

Stephen. Open book.

Let's see.

Here we go, John.

All right.

First question of the Colberg questionnaire, brace yourself.

John Stuart.

...