Welcome back everybody to another episode of Caravana Garbage where we're taking a look at something

a little bit special. Oh yes. It's when Disney loses a lot of money on a property they shouldn't

have made. And then they don't take any chances anymore and we all lose out. Oh yeah.

Yeah. Ha ha ha ha. No independent properties, no nothing. Just the same old slop over and over again. And then that loses traction. And then we don't get anything. Ha ha ha. This I like. Yeah, it's good, right? Yeah. So, of course, this week we're talking about, and please leave a like for John Carter 2012. John Carter of Mars? Wrong. No. Just John Carter, just a man. This is also not to be confused with the 2009 asylum version, which starred Antonio Sabato Jr. Really? Which was made to cash in on the Avatar craze. Which also I feel like this was. You think it was? Yes. You reckon? Three years after Avatar, for a number of reasons. But that had blue men. Yeah. And this has green men. No, yeah. I didn't think about that. And sort of red men. Sort of not really. Just regular men. And then just even more regular men. Oh yeah. The most regular. And then the most regular of all, John Carter, with his regular 1860s physique.

He should have had just a real...

Come on.

What are we doing with this guy?

He should have had a normal 19th century American physique, just all, just rail thin and pale.

Agreed.

You know, he's come out of the army, he's got a limp.

He's been shot once, and he got bacteria in him, you know, because the bullet didn't go all the way through. Rubbing sawdust into it. Yeah, that's right. Yeah. He's got whatever pluracy is. Or pluribus? No, that's different. That's a different thing, isn't it? A different thing, yeah. People will probably wear of this, but there is something called iPhone face. Ah yes.

2012 still would have been an iPhone face.

I think so.

But it's where you see... thing, isn't it? A different thing, yeah. People will probably aware of this, but there is something called iPhone face.

Ah, yes.

2012 still would have been an iPhone face. I think so. But it's where you see somebody in a pro-project and go, that person is not from that era, they're from now. They're looking at iPhones all the time. Sure, yeah. And that's a classic example of this. This feels so antiquated. well yes go, it's, because it's based on a book that was written like before there was any real sci-fi. So it's all like, oh, this place is called helium. This ship rides on light and everything's a fucking whatever, a crystal. It was so easy back then. Well, this by Edgar Rice Burroughs, the original book. He also created Tarzan? He did, yeah. So it was so easy back then. Just, what if a man lived in the jungle? What if a man lived in a different place than you, the reader? Oh, my goodness. This is fantastical. Impossible. Let's wear this man at the stake.

He's a demon, is Mr. Edgar Rice Burrows.

Can't do it now.

No.

He can't be like, what if a man, what if a man, he was, you know, he learned that there was a secret

organization that was trying to reverse entropy of the universe and using a secret device,

but then another secret organization

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