Are you ready to get dark?

Welcome, my brothers and sisters,

to John Campia after dark the show,

where of course, as you know,

we talk about alcohol consumption,

the use of recreational drugs,

casual sex with one or many partners,

the show where we talk about stealing your co-workers

lunch from the fridge,

and it doesn't matter if his name was on it,

because screw that guy,

the show where we swear to our moms

that we have no idea how those dirty websites

got into our browser history,

no idea at all, ladies and gentlemen,

that is the stuff that we are here to talk about.

Actually, this is just a companion video done live.

That's really all this is,

but it's awfully good to have you guys here.

Welcome to the show.

I'm seeing some people saying,

I really need to have a smoking jacket.

...