Joe's Fake Limp, Jordan's Jean Jacket, A New Zealand Quiz

Alison Rosen Is Your New Best Friend

Alison Rosen

Funny, Comic, Interviews, Women, Celebrity, Grief, Psychology, Comedy Interviews, Comedy

4.6 • 6.5K Ratings

🗓️ 14 November 2019

⏱️ 96 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Joe Kwaczala has returned—what a speedy return!—and he once faked a limp until his mom intervened. He also has a crazy track record of calling into radio stations and winning. Jordan Morris doesn't know anything about how to fix your phone so stop asking him. Also, he's denim jacket guy now and he's here to talk about rinses! Alison once split her pants on the way to The Cheesecake Factory to see a guy who had a crush on her friend. Plus a New Zealand quiz! Play along at home!

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Transcript

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0:00.0	And now live from Pod Cabin in Burbank, California, it's Thursday on the
0:06.6	Allison Rosen's Unibest Friendshow. Tonight, Allison welcomes your guest. He's a
0:11.4	writer comedian who says he doesn't bleach his hair, which is exactly what
0:15.2	someone who bleaches their hair would say. It's Jordan Morris. And he's a
0:20.3	comedian who knows that if this comedy thing doesn't work out, he'll at least
0:23.7	be able to earn a living dancing to Tainted Love at Gems. Nursing homes is
0:27.4	Joe Quizala. Tom Zone is here or as Bob Eiger likes to call him positive
0:33.4	fourth quarter revenue projections. I'm your husband Daniel, say I'm hop on
0:36.8	board love bus, say I love your best friend. Allison Rosen.
0:57.4	Hello, my little captain, Crunch Berry. Welcome to another exciting Thursday
1:05.7	show. That particular carbohydrates was sent in on Patreon by Jess Flowers,
1:11.4	aka the Carb Zarr. Now when I started calling people carbohydrates a long time
1:16.6	ago and sometimes I wish I hadn't. I'm in a starchy prison of my own making.
1:22.2	But anyway, when I started doing that a while ago, I didn't want to repeat
1:26.1	carbohydrates. And then many years later, once we got this Patreon thing going and
1:29.6	one of the perks of Patreon is Patreon. You can submit carbohydrates and
1:34.3	years might be chosen. But there's also other stuff that's actually cool. I'm
1:38.6	sorry, I'm a little fiery tonight. I don't know what's going on. If you thought
1:42.4	about switching to calling people legumes, there was a little maybe that's maybe
1:47.0	that's 2020 on the Allison Rosen show. Hello, my little wasabi peas. I like that.
1:52.2	I like that a lot. No, would that be a starch water legumes? Beans? I think
1:56.6	I'm just pees and beans. They actually are carbs. So really I'm just
	...

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