Inside our info everybody the White House actually reached out to me and asked me to host the White House Correspondence dinner.

I accepted obviously. I sent them some of my jokes but like Nancy Pelosi's eyes they went in a different direction.

Now I can't let these jokes go to waste. So here we go. The real White House Correspondence dinner.

Ladies and gentlemen Joe Biden is here but he doesn't know that. Biden's brain is as soft as a bowl of come or as Anderson Cooper calls it brunch.

Does anyone here trust Biden's brain? I have more faith Madison Cauthorn could win dancing with the stars.

Also Cauthorn stop bragging about how the Latino community supports you. Okay they don't. Mexicans just love a vegetable on a cart.

Speaking of vegetables let's talk about someone who's got hips like a turn up. Trump he missed his fifth correspondence dinner in a row.

Did someone tell him it was Tiffany's birthday? Hunter Biden also couldn't make it. It was date night with his dead brother's wife.

America hasn't had a hunter this shitty since Dick Cheney. We didn't show up. Okay ladies and gentlemen we have future president Ron DeSantis here. Give it up for Ron.

Ron you look like Bradley Cooper if the limitless pill was wrapped in bacon. Ron signed the don't say gay bill. So Florida kids are going to have to learn about homosexuality the old fashioned way by watching CNN.

CNN is gay ladies and gentlemen. I mean between lemon, Cuomo, Seltar and Cooper. CNN has taken more prepped than an Asian kid studying for the SATs.

But they're not the only bias ones in the building. Fox news is here as well. Fox is slogan is fair and balanced. Sure. The only fox that's less balanced is Michael J.

Everyone knows that Fox has a major slant and that's also what Tucker calls Andrew Yang. I mean come on Fox Fox.

Fox. I mean come on guys. I mean come on guys Fox leans further to the right than Stephen Hawkins neck.

Let's be serious for a minute. Okay America is incredibly divided right now and sitting in this room are the most powerful and influential politicians and journalists in the world.

And if our goal is to stop the division and unite America. I think we can all agree that the best way to do that is to simply let the president leave and then drop a bomb on this dinner immediately.

And then we can all agree that the problem solved. Yeah. Wow. I think it out. I think it out. I love it. What's up everybody and welcome the flagrant to let's start the show. Why did they want you to do those jokes? I don't know. It's so stupid. It's so dumb. They asked about editing a couple. Yeah.

Andrew Yang when they were fine. Okay. You're right. My end was totally fine. They're like yeah. Yeah. Those they're racist over there. Fox News. Those but it was the Hunter Biden's. Yeah. But the factual one. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. The literal thing that's happening. Yeah. They really protect that kid. Yeah. Oh yeah. Maybe next year you go hosted. We'll say yeah. Maybe next year you can host it. You know what? I don't want to host it. I don't want your stupid correspondence dinner. You know.

I don't know. I just try to have a fun day in the beginning. This is a fun honor. No, honestly, it would be it would be really cool. I love the idea of and I thought Trevor had some great jokes. I thought he was good. Man. We always are going to want something a little edgy. But I thought he did great for what he does.

I'm not going to let you do anything edgy in that certain circumstances. But like there were a couple jokes. They were really fucking biting and like embarrassing for the people in the room. Oh, he had one against Biden though. Something like everybody was so appalled when he said Putin should be removed from power. And then they remember that nothing Biden wants actually gets done.

That was great. Bang. Even the tubing thing going right in a tube. He's at a circular table surrounded by all of his friends. Maybe he's just praying that they don't mention it. Yeah. I was impressed with Trevor Noah.

I thought it was good. I'm happy that they even did it. Like consider the last like however many years Trump was like, yeah, we're not doing it. It also exposes what a pussy Trump is like like dude stand up there and take your fucking shots like a man. Yeah, come back and fire at the end. That's it. And you have the last laugh. Yes.

...