Hola, yo soy Eder Díaz y este es el podcast de pueblo católico y gay. Antes de escuchar la historia del día de hoy quiero rapidito tomarme el tiempo de agradecerte que estés aquí, que le des el tiempo a estas historias que nos dejes acompañarte por los próximos 30 a 40 minutos lo que vaya a durar este episodio. Muchas gracias por elegirnos y por dejarnos contar estas historias. Si te gusta lo que escuchas al final por favor compártelas para que lleguen a muchísimas personas y si puedes búsquanos en iTunes después y regálanos cinco estrellas por favor. Esta historia que vas a escuchar el día de hoy es parte de la serie Orgullos Latinos LGBTQ 2019 en colaboración con Bienestar, celebrando 30 años de servicio a la comunidad.

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Una vez más, muchas gracias por dejarnos acompañarte con esta plática, ahora sí vamos a escuchar la historia del día de hoy. Hola, soy Jesse, soy catálico, soy de Nueva York y yo soy transhénero. Jesse, thank you for being here. Thank you for having me. What was it like when you were a kid? Very fast paced, very independent.

New York is a, you know, the conquering jungle as they call it. So, you know, you kind of raise yourself although you do have your family support there. So you grew up in what part of town? The Bronx. The Bronx, New York, yeah. Are you from a big family? Yes, three other siblings. Three other siblings. Where are your parents from? from. My mother is from Dominican Republic and my dad is Puerto Rican. Very cool. I don't

want you to say your age, if you're not comfortable, but around what time? Late 80s, mid 80s. Technically mid 80s, yeah. Okay. I'm gonna be 34. Oh nice. So, baby. Yeah, you're young. You're just getting started. So, a lot of music.

That's what I hear.

You know, a lot of things were happening in the Bronx at that time. Yeah, the Bronx, you know, is historically it's the birth of hip hop. So, along with so much things like styles, you know, and fashion, and boppy trullos like me, and, you know, yeah, all that. Did you fit in when you were a kid? I did. I had a lot of friends. I was always with the guys.

Primarily. I had a few, you. I was always with the guys, primarily.

I had a few, you know, female identified friends, but the majority have been all the guys in my life. When did you kind of start to feel, if ever, a little different in your childhood? At a very young age, I mean, I came out probably a couple of times in my life, but around the The first time I actually came out to my mom was around the age of 14.

Yeah.

Did you come out as a... At that time, I came out as a lesbian. Okay. So, yeah. And that was quite interesting. It was something that, you know, I was also confused about and wasn't sure about. But then it kind of hit me and it was like, yeah, this is you like girls. When you were 14, that's a really early age. What was it about, or what was happening that made you want to tell your mom then? Well, at that time, simply because I felt like I was holding a really big secret and I had a very good relationship with my mother. So in terms of communication at least. And hanging out with all my guy friends, it was something that we were around a lot of women. And that's when I knew I'm like, oh yeah, I'm like them. Because I like women too. So I felt, well, I wanted to be honest and try to live my life as authentically as possible. What was her reaction at that time? So the funny thing about it is I didn't get a reaction right away because I wrote her a note and I slipped it in her purse. My mother used to work really early mornings. So I was so frightened. I barely slept that night. I wrote her a note after she went to bed because I already knew her time's casual and what time she'd wake up to go to work. And then yeah, I wrote the note and I slept in her purse and I was up the entire night waiting and scared if oh, if she goes and uses the restroom the middle of the night or she has to go into her purse for some odd reason at 2 a.m. yeah and I actually didn't get a response back until she came back home from work so that was also another you know I went the old the entire day kind of just like sweating bullets and you know scared and frightened in terms of her reaction but yeah she had read it and I guess guess she may have needed time to process it or really fully understand what was going on, but when she did come back home, it was a great reaction to it. She just pretty much told me, I always knew, and I won't love you any less. Wow. Yeah. That's beautiful. What is a Dominican mom like? Well, they're very, very, very, very strong, strong women of course, independent, very vocal and loud. So once you came out as a lesbian, what was your life like right after that? Oh it was great. I was dating nonstop. No, I had my first girlfriend ever and it was cool because my family knew. So, yeah, and with Adley enough, I also had a sweet 16. So, my girlfriend at that time, my mom knew and my family knew and my girlfriend was actually involved and participated. So, it was great and everybody knew. And my mom was also the cool mom. All my friends in high school and school always left coming over and she threw random parties and everyone, she'd do kind of apply us with alcohol at a young age. So it was great. And I was able to be free and live my life the way being able to be out in the open and out of the closet. For sure. Aside from your house was there a lot of inviting places around your neighborhood that you guys could also hang out in. So actually I had a lot of friends that were there also a part of the community. A few friends that were lesbians as well and other friends that were gay, gay men. and we would actually hang out in downtown in the village, which is predominantly where all the people part of the community in New York City would hang out at. And that's where all the kids that were either kicked out of their houses, you know, kind of abandoned because of their sexual orientation or their gender would all go hang out and kind of conjugate at. And that's where we would always go. I think you guys were bogging and all of that. Yeah, I sucked. But, you know, yeah, all my friends were pros at it and myself not too much. I attempted, I'm sure my duck walks weren't up to par, but they were something to look at. Yeah, definitely. When did you realize lesbian maybe wasn't the term and you felt like you had to come out again? Yeah, so that question is rather complex, honestly, and a little complicated, because even for myself, I can't really pinpoint a time that I felt, okay, this is not working. It's more so it kind of unraveled over the years. And even speaking to people within my community, and within the LGBTQ plus community, and kind of reflecting on my life, even up until present day is now where I'm kind of like, oh, yeah, so at this point in time, 15 years ago, it makes sense. Why I felt this way, or why I was doing this, or why I had these thoughts. And I can't really bumble it up until one date and time, but I know that it just was like a series of events, feelings, emotions, kind of consistent. And it wasn't up until about two years ago that I decided, okay, well, I'm just gonna start my path, medically transitioning. So, and then I just kind of just did it, you know, on my own. You started two years ago? Yes. Actually, before I started my medical transition, I was in the middle of trying to figure out where I best fit. And so there was a point in time in my life, very, very brief point, where I actually was a navigating as non-binary, simply because, you simply because I wasn't necessarily showcasing or presenting as one thing but as multiple genders to be in specific and also trying to figure out my feelings and what felt more comfortable for me. If this is something that I was fluid in my gender and how I was going to continue navigating the world. So for a brief time, I was navigating non-binary. And then you realized that this is what you wanted to do. Yeah, and then I was just like, yeah, no, this isn't work. I don't think that it's really reflective of me. I'm a man. And yeah, and I just kind of was like, start a shifting from telling people, yeah,

you know, I'm non-binary, I'm gender not conforming to, no, I'm a man. Let me take a step back. When did you start your activism? Because that's one of the reasons you're here. You know, we're obviously highlighting your voices very important to the community and the stories that we tell, but we're also celebrating the work that you've done. So I started, I'm actually pretty, pretty new to the, in terms of activism for the community. I'm actually a veteran. So I served eight years in the army. And I was doing a lot of work for veterans, post, leaving the service. So I started off with that because, you know, that was the group that I connected with the most. Another obviously underserved and marginalized community. And then after coming into my gender and navigating the world as a trans man is where I realized, oh well, I'm really intersectional. Now, right, because I'm an army veteran, a transgender man of color. So at that point in time I'm like okay well I

need to kind of maybe try and see where I can help all the communities that I belong to and that's when I decided okay well I want to work specifically doing this. So it's been about a year a little over actually that I've been doing activism and trying to be an advocate and you know kind of trying to help out our community. The reason I asked the question, I didn't know that you were a veteran. Yeah. First of all, thank you for your service. Oh, thank you for your support. Second of all, I'm trying to do the math in my head, but I'm assuming that when you enrolled, don't ask, don't tell, was still the law of the armed forces. Correct. It was. So what was that like for you? Yes. So I mean, the don't ask on top of policy was much, you know, at the end of the day, that's what it was, right? Right. Right. And yes, while I was serving my tenure in the service, it was still very much active. And in terms of some people having to hide it or

or or be a little more or are allowed to be a little more open, yes, it was situational

because it depended on your company and where you were serving and what battalion and organization

you were attached to, you know, the service, you know, brings a lot of people from all over the

world, all different paths and different minds, right, all together. And yeah, sometimes you'll end up with a couple of people that just, you know, you experienced the same things you would if you weren't in the service, racism, sexism, ableism, you know, and it just really was kind of dependent on where you were stationed at and who were your friends outside of just your colleagues. So you, yeah, depending where you were at, you had to either be on your peace and cues and make sure nobody knew or you were able to be a little more open. What was your experience? Both, actually. I bounced around a lot being in the same, I mean, eight years. So the first couple of years of my enlistment, I was at that time still identifying as a female mandatory, right? And I was actually, there was the majority were men. And so I felt okay because I'm like, well, obviously I'm a man, right? Without me even having said that at that time. So for me, it was normal. All the talks, the locker room talks and all that stuff. I'm just like, okay, well, this is my community, even though I can't really say it right now, or not identifying with it, but to me, it felt comfortable. And, you know, navigating as sometimes the only woman in the battalion or, or not the battalion, but the organization or the company or the platoon, it wasn't out of the ordinary because the majority that make up the service of course are white young men, right? And so a lot of, I was blessed to be a part of, some companies where a lot of my coworkers and my battle buddies were actually okay. And they respected me and my choices. But then there was other places that I was stationed that it was not okay. And I had to be careful what I was doing outside of work and who saw me and who knew. Especially after I started getting promoted and moving into different positions and promotions. I had to be really, really more conscious and kind of walk on eggshells in terms of my personal life. Were you still active when they repealed it? Yes. So when they repealed it, I was still active. I was actually a recruiter. I was coming off of my special duty assignment as a recruiter when they repealed it. I'm sure it was in like, oh, it's repealed.

Now everybody gets to be who they are, right? I'm sure in the practice, it's still kind of fell into the same criteria that we're talking about where, you know, sometimes the spaces were inviting, sometimes they weren't. Right. I mean, the Obama administration helped out, of course, the others, right, which is us, LGBTQ plus community, especially being you know, with with a lot of the revoking of the some certain enactments or laws that were in place that were detrimental to us. I mean, yeah, it helped, right, that that was no longer the case, but at the same time, you know, we were still experiencing discrimination. That is an automatically race, all types of discrimination against you just because

of your sexual orientation and in this current climate because of your gender identity, right? And

so help protect us for those who actually enjoyed serving and being soldiers and being a part of

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