Jen Hatmaker: “It’s like I woke up halfway through my life”

The Shift with Sam Baker

Sam Baker Ltd

Society & Culture, Health & Fitness, Personal Journals

4.8 • 525 Ratings

🗓️ 28 October 2025

⏱️ 51 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

We talk a lot about women who want out, who want to set light to everything and walk away. But we don’t talk so much about the women who find someone else has put a bomb under their lives and left them standing in the rubble. That’s what happened to Jen Hatmaker… After 45 years of living life according to the good girl rules, she woke up in the middle of the night to find her husband of 26 years voice texting his girlfriend in bed beside her. In that minute, Everything she thought she knew was over. And not once, but twice. Because Jen, a bestselling author who had previously been a Christian women’s influencer and grew up under the True Love Waits doctrine had also experienced a crisis of faith that caused her to move away from conservative stances she’d grown up with. Now Jen has written a book, Awake, about what happens when you reach middle age and find that the very things that formed your identity are no longer there. Jen joined me to talk about the moment her life exploded, her midlife sexual renaissance, how she learnt to trust her body and take control of her finances in middle age. We also discussed society’s obsession with marriage, her annual retreat to me camp and why she’s a total sucker for glow! * You can buy all the books mentioned in this podcast at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠The Shift bookshop on Bookshop.org⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠, including Awake by Jen Hatmaker as well as the book that inspired this podcast, The Shift: how I lost and found myself after 40 - and you can too, by me. * If you enjoyed this episode and you fancy buying me a coffee, pop over to my page on ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠buymeacoffee.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠. • And if you'd like to support the work that goes into making this podcast and get a weekly newsletter plus loads more content including exclusive transcripts of the podcast, why not join The Shift community, come and have a look around at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.theshiftwithsambaker.substack.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ • The Shift (on life after 40) with Sam Baker is created and hosted by Sam Baker and edited by Juliette Nicholls at Pineapple Production. If you enjoyed this podcast, please rate/ review/ follow as it really does help other people find us. And let me know what you think on Bluesky @theothersambaker.bsky.social or instagram @theothersambaker or message me on substack The Shift with Sam Baker. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcript

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0:00.0	There's no one like you, and there never will be.
0:03.0	From the producer of Bohemian Rhapsody.
0:06.6	There are many legends, but there is only one.
0:12.0	Michael, in IMAX in Cinema's Wednesday, April 22.
0:19.9	Hello, and welcome to The Shift. The podcast aims to tell the no-holds bar truth about being a woman post-40, created and hosted by me, writer and broadcaster, Sam Baker.
0:30.9	Now, we talk a lot about women who want out, who reach midlife and want to set light to everything and walk away.
0:38.2	But we don't talk quite so much about the women who find someone else
0:41.8	has put a bomb under their lives and left them standing in the rubble.
0:46.0	And that's exactly what happened to Jen Hatmaker.
0:49.5	After 45 years of living life according to the good girl rules,
0:53.8	she woke up in the middle of the night
0:55.4	to find her husband of 26 years. They'd been married since she was 19, voice texting his girlfriend
1:03.1	in bed beside her. I know, right? I mean, anyway, in that minute, everything she thought she knew
1:10.7	was over. And not once,
1:13.0	but twice, because Jen, a best-selling author who had previously been a Christian women's
1:17.9	influencer and grew up under the True Love Waits doctrine, had also experienced a crisis of
1:23.4	faith that caused her to move away quite substantially from the conservative stances she'd
1:29.6	grown up with. Now Jen has written a book, Awake, about what happens when you reach middle
1:35.2	age and find that the very things that formed your identity are gone. The greater story is fairly
1:42.9	ubiquitous for women about this time of life. The loss or the change,
1:48.9	so whether it is women going, my body is not behaving like I always expected it to, or my marriage
1:56.3	is not functional, or my adult friendships are disappointing me in a way that I wasn't ready. My career,
	...

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