Jazz Hands, Fentanyl, and the Roller Rink of Regrets
The Rizzuto Show | Daily Comedy Podcast
The Rizzuto Show Comedy Podcast | 105.7 The Point | Hubbard Radio | Gamut Podcast Network
4.9 • 3.2K Ratings
🗓️ 18 March 2026
⏱️ 67 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
Welcome back to another beautifully unhinged episode of The Rizzuto Show — your favorite funny podcast where things start normal and immediately spiral into chaos.
We kick things off with jazz hands (because obviously that’s how serious radio begins), before diving into the slow-motion meltdown that is Rizz being left home alone for a week. Talking to dogs, narrating his own life, and possibly unraveling mentally? Yeah, we’re keeping an eye on that.
Then Lern casually drops that she went to a roller rink… alone… in a giant coat… just to hang out. Which opens the floodgates for one of the most relatable discussions ever: the “king of the roller rink” — that one guy who peaked gliding backwards under neon lights and never emotionally recovered. Naturally, this leads to a completely serious business pitch to buy and reinvent a roller rink, which financial advisors everywhere would absolutely hate.
From there, things take a turn into “why is this even legal?” territory as we break down cousin marriage laws across the U.S. — including the deeply unsettling realization that some states are way more relaxed about it than you’d hope. And because we’re nothing if not educational, we somehow connect that to King Tut, inbreeding, and what ancient people might think of our modern faces. (Spoiler: they’d probably hate us.)
Then comes the story that flips the whole episode: a woman who wrote a children’s book about coping with grief… after allegedly causing her husband’s death. It’s part true crime, part “are we seriously talking about this right now,” and fully the kind of content you only get from a funny podcast that thrives in the gray area between hilarious and horrifying.
We wrap things up with a viral Frontier Airlines controversy that proves once again: the internet reacts first, facts come later. Add in some airport anxiety, retail apocalypse talk, and why you can’t flirt anywhere anymore, and you’ve got a perfectly chaotic ride.
If you’re into daily laughs, weird news, and conversations that should probably come with a warning label, this funny podcast has you covered.
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Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | Rizzuto |
| 0:01.3 | Rizudo |
| 0:02.5 | Rurudo Hey! Good morning, everybody. Did you just do jazz hands? I did. I didn't say anything and I just did jazz hands. I didn't have it in me today. Nice. Well, I'd like to start off with some positivity this coming over on the instant feedback. Oh, great. For Matt, the music right before the show starts is so awful. Please change your habits. Thanks. |
| 0:22.4 | You can go to hell. |
| 0:23.6 | All right. |
| 0:24.1 | Whoa. |
| 0:24.5 | Okay. feedback. Oh, great. For Matt, the music right before the show starts is so awful. |
| 0:40.4 | Please change your habits. Thanks. You can go to hell. All right. Whoa. Okay. I was going to ask Scott what that was. I think that was Seven Dust. Yeah, it was Seven Dust. I dare you, Matt. Holy cow. Hey, Matt's got good music taste. Cool. What are you listening to, Matt? What was on deck this morning. I'd love to know. What was he listening to? Everybody wants it oh. I love those emails from programming. Those are my favorite. Listen, it's subjective. Play a little freaking jelly roll every once in a while. But that aggravates me because that is something that is uniquely picked out daily for this show that is not breaking Benjamin. No, Scott picks it out. He cultivates that. It's old school radio stuff, dude. That's 1970s, correct. Suck it, man. I think you do a great job. Thank you. I appreciate it. I like most of the stuff you play. I do, too. Some eclectic things, some unusual things. Yeah, I try to give... Different versions of classic songs. It honestly sets the tone of the show often for me. Like if it's a kind of a low banger, like where it's just slow and low. And that was slow and low. That was jazz hands of slow and low. It's been a week, hasn't it? It's only Wednesday. I know, but it feels like it should be Thursday. |
| 1:27.9 | It does. |
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