James Kimmel Jr. On Why Your Brain Loves Revenge | EP 696

Passion Struck with John R. Miles

Passion Struck Network

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4.9 • 1.3K Ratings

🗓️ 28 November 2025

⏱️ 67 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

What if revenge is not a moral failure, but a biological addiction?

In this gripping episode of Passion Struck, John R. Miles sits down with Yale psychiatrist James Kimmel Jr., author of The Science of Revenge, to unravel one of the most dangerous and misunderstood forces shaping our lives, our politics, our relationships, and our inner worlds.

This episode continues our acclaimed series The Irreplaceables, which explores the human qualities no machine can replicate. Yesterday’s episode with Don Martin explored loneliness, the crisis between us. Today, we explore revenge, the crisis within us. James explains why the pull toward retaliation can feel intoxicating, righteous, and impossible to resist.

Through neuroscience, evolutionary psychology, and Kimmel’s own harrowing personal story, we examine how grievance hijacks the brain, why revenge activates the same dopamine pathways as cocaine and gambling, and why forgiveness is not moral niceness but a neurobiological reset.

If you have ever held a grudge, fantasized about getting even, or wondered why our culture feels increasingly reactive and enraged, this conversation is essential.

Get the full episode show notes here: https://passionstruck.com/the-science-of-revenge-james-kimmel-jr/

Listen, Watch, and Go Deeper

All episode links are gathered here, including my books You Matter, Luma, and Passion Struck, The Ignited Life Substack, YouTube channels, and Start Mattering apparel:

https://linktr.ee/John_R_Miles

Download the companion workbook: The Clarity Reset Toolkit

Available at TheIgnitedLife.net

Includes reflection prompts, identity exercises, and tools for breaking harmful emotional loops.

In this episode, you will learn:

Why revenge produces the same dopamine surge as addictive substances
Why unresolved grievance becomes a compulsive loop
The childhood trauma that shaped James’s life mission
How the brain mistakes retaliation for relief and reward
How political polarization and online conflict are fueled by biological craving
Why forgiveness quiets the pain circuitry and restores clarity
How to choose healing over the temporary high of revenge

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Transcript

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0:00.0	Coming up next on Passion Struck.
0:02.1	So there's this science story that shows that revenge seeking actually activates the same pleasure and reward circuitry as addiction and that your brain on revenge looks like your brain on drugs.
0:14.0	And that's a huge discovery.
0:16.4	It just happened over the last 20 years.
0:18.0	And it's of momentous importance because revenge has been shown
0:23.0	in multiple forms of data, public health data, the CDC's national violent death reporting system
0:30.6	and the FBI's national crime reports and also behavioral studies around the world that
0:36.2	revenge is the primary root motivation
0:38.4	for almost all forms of human violence and intentionally inflicted suffering.
0:43.6	Welcome to Passionstruck. I'm your host, John Miles. This is the show where we explore
0:48.8	the art of human flourishing and what it truly means to live like it matters. Each week, I sit down with
0:55.1	change makers, creators, scientists, and everyday heroes to decode the human experience
1:00.2	and uncover the tools that help us lead with meaning, heal what hurts, and pursue the fullest
1:05.7	expression of who we're capable of becoming. Whether you're designing your future,
1:10.2	developing as a leader,
1:11.5	or seeking deeper alignment in your life,
1:13.8	this show is your invitation
1:15.4	to grow with purpose and act with intention.
1:18.3	Because the secret to a life
1:20.0	of deep purpose, connection, and impact
1:22.1	is choosing to live like you matter.
1:35.0	Welcome back, friends, to Passionstruck.
	...

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