Hey, Jeff here from LGBTQ&A.

Today we've got a conversation with Jacob Tobiah, who you might remember from the podcast about a year and a half ago.

We actually recorded this new conversation for a different project that we're working on,

but Jacob's vulnerability and honesty talking about forgetting what it feels like to be desired and being

denied even the tiniest, healthiest bit of sexual attention as a trans femme person. It really just

stuck with me. So I asked if you could run it here. Jacob was cool with that. I'm super grateful

for that. Before we get to it, though, if you haven't subscribed and left to comment on

iTunes, please do that. It is one of the biggest ways you can help our show to continue to grow.

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for all your After Show discussions. All right, without further ado, here's Jacob.

I've been thinking a lot about what it means to, to feel desired or to feel wanted in the context of my gender.

You know, like it's, and it's interesting because, you know, I just wrote 160,000 words about my identity.

And I really don't talk about my sexuality or my intimacy or, or like, my experience as

an erotic person other than in kind of like a joky you know like making jokes

about how horny I was as a teenager kind of way you know like I glaze over it but it but

it's not a dive you know like and that's intentional yeah well well yes and no right like it's

intentional because I'm not ready to talk about it publicly yet,

but it's unintentional in that the reason I'm not ready to talk about it yet in a lot of cases

is because I don't understand it fully.

I feel like the great unfinished business of my gender exploration is trying to figure out what it means to be desired

in my femme.

Because, you know, it's not like we grow up in a world where people are taught to do that.

...