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Attention all passengers.

The Uber ride for Mark and Jamal's romantic weekend will depart in four minutes from platform six.

Your ride comes with a rolling countryside sunset view and a table seat ideal for playing footsie beneath.

Thank you for booking your tickets on Uber. Trains on Uber.

I'll now hand you over to my best man, Eddie.

Wow, wow, wow. Second time's a charm, eh, Billy Boy.

Oh God.

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