Iyanla: Fix My Abusive Marriage

Iyanla: Fix My Life

OWN The Oprah Winfrey Network

Society & Culture

4.7 • 827 Ratings

🗓️ 5 November 2019

⏱️ 36 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

Iyanla travels to the Dallas area to support a couple in the midst of a serious marriage crisis. OJ and Janetria both admit that their frequent fights turn physical, but neither seems to think this is a real problem--until Iyanla arrives on their couch and asks them to reenact their latest fight. When their petty argument about the dish drain ends with OJ's hands around his wife's neck, Iyanla kicks him out of the house. In trying to understand why Janetria chooses to stay with a man who is prone to abusive conduct, Iyanla uncovers something in Janetria's past that may hold the answer. Later, Iyanla talks with OJ about his actions, bringing him face to face with his mother and sister, who confront him about his angry behavior. By the end of Day One, OJ and Janetria both can see they've been locked in an abusive relationship for years. But whether they choose to stay together or go their separate ways is ultimately up to them.

Transcript

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0:00.0	Let me tell you who I am.
0:02.0	I am a survivor, a teenage mother, a welfare recipient, and a woman.
0:08.0	I am a teacher, life coach, minister, lawyer, and author.
0:13.0	I've had my share of breakups, breakdowns, and breakthroughs.
0:18.0	I did my work and put my life back together piece by piece. I am I
0:23.0	am I on the Van Zand and I am here to help you do your work. I'm in Dallas, Texas,
0:30.4	to help a couple on the verge of divorce.
0:34.4	Janitri and OJ first met nearly a decade ago and soon began a family raising three children
0:42.3	together.
0:43.3	We got married because we were in love with each other and we wanted our family to grow
0:47.8	up in a two-parent home because neither one of us had that.
0:51.3	But not long after the ink dried on their marriage license, their relationship started to crumble.
0:57.7	Now I feel like he is a different person, and I feel like that's not the person I married or not the person I wanted to marry.
1:07.1	We fight over anything. It could be why I didn't put the drain in the sink and we'll start fighting.
1:12.6	The biggest thing that we argue about is housework, like cleaning.
1:17.6	She's just lazy at times.
1:19.6	She feels like it should be done when she wants to do it, not when it needs to be done.
1:25.6	At times, O.J. and Janitria's petty bickering turns to yelling and escalates from there.
1:33.2	Sometimes my temper does scare me because I feel like I don't have total control over it.
1:39.4	If he choked me, I just, I'll fight back only if I'm not able to breathe anymore.
1:50.0	But other than that, I just kind of let him choke me because I'm like, okay, he'll be done in a minute and it'll be over because I have to get back to the kids.
1:52.0	I could say that it's both of our fault, but honestly, I feel like she makes it get to the extreme point, and she doesn't realize it,
	...

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