It’s OK to Want What You Want: Cheryl Strayed as Dear Sugar

We Can Do Hard Things

Glennon Doyle & Audacy

Society & Culture, Relationships, Education, Self-improvement

4.8 • 41.1K Ratings

🗓️ 4 August 2022

⏱️ 58 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

1. Pod Squad Qs about co-parenting after infidelity, setting boundaries with friends, and reconciling an estranged parent relationship. 2. How to know when it’s time to leave, and whether your partner deserves to be free of you. 3. Why every problem Cheryl’s ever had has been solved by a list–and how to use her strategy. 4. Ways to be a better advice-giver, and how to keep “floating in the direction of your own life.” 5. How to gather the courage to know a truth thing–and to live by it. About Cheryl Cheryl Strayed is the author of the #1 New York Times bestselling memoir Wild, as well as the bestsellers Tiny Beautiful Things, Brave Enough, and Torch. Wild was adapted into an Oscar-nominated film starring Reese Witherspoon and Laura Dern. Tiny Beautiful Things is currently being adapted for a TV show for Hulu and will star Kathryn Hahn. In addition to writing her widely acclaimed essays, stories and scripts, Strayed has hosted two hit podcasts for the New York Times — Sugar Calling and Dear Sugars, which she co-hosted with Steve Almond. She lives in Portland, Oregon with her husband Brian Lindstrom and their two teenagers. TW: @CherylStrayed IG: @cherylstrayed To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Transcript

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0:00.0	Welcome back to We Can Do Hard Things. We are extremely lucky because we have one of the
0:15.5	wisest people in the whole universe of universes here with us today. And she's going to answer
0:23.4	all of our questions. Her name is of course Cheryl Strayed. And if you have not listened to our first
0:30.2	episode with her, you must. It's that optional. It was one of our favorite conversations we've ever had
0:36.6	here. So make sure you go back and listen and Cheryl, thanks for coming back. I am so thrilled to be
0:42.2	here. I'm a big fan of y'all and I wanted to come back for two. Hey, you know, anytime. So glad,
0:49.4	we're so lucky. We want to talk to you today about advice and wisdom and offering it and how we do
0:56.6	it and how we don't do it. And one of the things we find fascinating about you is that you are a
1:01.6	preeminent advice giver as dear sugar, of course, the whole world knows. But you say that everyone who
1:07.4	comes to you for advice already knows the answer. You just help them understand what they are really asking.
1:14.4	This feels helpful. Can you tell us more about that? Yeah, I believe this in my heart. I think that
1:21.4	most people who write to me know what they need to do or they want to do, but they're really afraid
1:29.0	to know it or want it. I came upon this because I started to write the column and I just started to
1:35.2	notice that there would be very often a sentence right at the core of the letter that would just say
1:41.0	I know this relationship is wrong or I know what I really want to be is fill in the blank a teacher
1:49.0	instead of a doctor or whatever. They would say, but you know, here are all the reasons I can't
1:53.4	know that or want that because it will cause trouble in my life. It will disappoint my family.
1:59.0	It will somehow be against the story I've told myself so far that I don't deserve this or I
2:05.0	don't deserve it. I'm not allowed to want that. So much of my work is your sugar is about being
2:13.1	an illuminator. I think this is what we do anyway. When we have conversations with our friends,
2:17.8	like when you have a problem and you talk to someone you love or trust about that problem,
2:23.1	what you're trying to do is shed light. I think in my work as your sugar, it's not so much about me
	...

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