If you're trying to deepen connection in your relationship, it's very helpful to know what works and what doesn't.

The brain is not paying attention to everything, and it doesn't care about words as much as we think.

In fact, words and verbal communication can be mildly irritating to the nervous system.

If you think about it, language is very subjective, so you have to interpret it to understand what it means.

And people have these continual disagreements about what they're talking about, which then gets translated into different memories, different recollections, different perspectives.

I mean, all of that stuff is so subjective that if you're trying to mediate connection through words, you're pushing a boulder uphill.

Welcome to Therapist Uncensored, building on decades of professional experience this podcast tackles neurobiology, modern attachment, and more, in an honest way that's helpful in healing humans.

Your session begins now with Dr. Ann Kelly in Sumeriat.

Hey, everybody. Sumeriat here. Welcome back to Therapist Uncensored.

An and I have been super busy producing a couple of different things for you guys.

One is we're going to do a new series. The series that we did before was really popular, and people enjoyed it.

It was called Holding Your Own, and that was about dealing with difficult personalities.

And we had originally started to do that as a course, and then changed directions and thought, no, let's just make this accessible to everybody. It's good information.

And so we're going to do that again. It's a new series that will be released soon. It's about disarming human defensiveness, because these things often operate under our awareness.

We're going to kind of do a deeper dive and move into that process of identifying some of the common ways that we unintentionally wonder woman away.

I'm thinking of her with the bracelets, like flip, flip, flip relationships, and keep ourselves more isolated than we might want to be.

The other thing that we've been really working on is our book. We've picked it back up. We've been a very long slow process, but we're firing on it now, and we're super excited.

So you'll hear more about that at some point soon. And in the meantime, I got to sit down with a friend and colleague, Karen Austin, Texas named John Howard.

And you may know John from his podcast, The John Howard Show. He also is the creator of Ready Set Love, a series of online programs for couples that has been really popular.

He teaches, he trains therapists, he speaks at conferences, and he develops a couple's and family therapy curriculum for the Dell Medical School in Austin.

The reason I asked John to join me for this episode, he's able to convey from his years of experience and teaching and training and practicing.

He just really has down some of the elements of couples therapy that we really respect, and we think is very useful both for if you're a therapist listening or somebody that just wants to be better in general relationships.

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