It's Not About You

The Daily Dad

Daily Dad

Dads, Society & Culture, Education, Parenting, Wisdom, Ryan Holiday, Kids & Family, Relationships, Fatherhood, Self-improvement

4.6 • 630 Ratings

🗓️ 7 May 2021

⏱️ 3 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

“We all enter fatherhood with preconceived notions and expectations. We hear about that magically profound connection that forms the moment they are born. We’re told nothing will make us feel more fulfilled, nothing will give us a stronger or clearer sense of purpose, nothing will compare to the kind of happiness you experience when our kids do this or accomplish that.”

Ryan challenges you to ask yourself a hard question, on today’s Daily Dad podcast.

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Transcript

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0:00.0	Welcome to the Daily Dad podcast where we provide one lesson every day to help you with your
0:14.1	most important job being a dad. These are lessons inspired by ancient philosophy, by practical
0:20.3	wisdom, and insights from dads all over the world.
0:24.5	Thank you for listening, and we hope this helps.
0:33.1	It's not about you.
0:36.1	We all enter fatherhood with preconceived notions and expectations.
0:41.0	We hear about that magically profound connection that forms the moment they are born.
0:46.2	We're told nothing will make us feel more fulfilled. Nothing will give us a stronger or clearer sense of purpose.
0:52.9	Nothing will compare to the kind of happiness you experience
0:56.3	when our kids do this, accomplish that. Then it happens, and it's different than you expected.
1:03.8	Maybe you're struggling with that even. Maybe it's not as magical as you thought. That connection
1:09.3	they've been talking about, that bond that's supposed
1:11.6	to instantly form, it hasn't happened for you yet. Because everything the tiny little baby needs
1:17.5	they're getting from mom in the beginning when you're just kind of there in support. Maybe you don't
1:22.0	like that part. Maybe you do and you feel guilty about it. Guess what? That's a you problem. As Brian Levinson, the mental
1:30.8	performance coach and host of the intentional performers podcast, told us not long ago, it's not about
1:37.2	you. Your kids didn't choose you. You chose them. It's not their job to make you happy, fulfilled, or anything else that has to come from you. If we are in service to helping them be their best self, then the rewards will come. But we can't take action solely for our own enjoyment. If we are truly in service to our children, then their agenda, desires, and needs must come first.
2:01.7	Especially when they are little, we would add.
2:04.5	It's our job to give and do and create what they need.
2:08.2	It's about them and their happiness.
2:10.3	It's about helping make them feel fulfilled and accomplished.
2:13.9	It's about the joy we can bring into their lives.
	...

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