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Attention all passengers.

The Uber ride for Mark and Jamal's romantic weekend will depart in four minutes from platform six.

Your ride comes with a rolling countryside sunset view and a table seat ideal for playing footsie beneath.

Thank you for booking your tickets on Uber.

Trains on Uber.

Hello everybody. I'm Jesse Waters along with Kelly Ann Conway, Harold Ford Jr., Kennedy, and Greg Gutfeld.

It's 5 o'clock in New York City, and this is the 5.

It's make or break for Spencer Pratt.

Today's primary day in the L.A. mayor's race, and we're about to find out whether voters

have had enough for the naked junkies shooting up next to their schools. Pratt's making his closing argument, telling the

California Post, quote, Los Angeles either votes for Pratt or it votes for death. The greatest

city on earth hangs in the balance. He also told Bill Maher, no more pot on playgrounds.

I don't want you swimming front of kids at the park.

You know, I'll be enforcing.

If you're smoking out front of a kid in the swing, I'll be getting you as mayor.

You know, no more drugs around kids at parks and schools in front of daycares, even if it's a legal pot.

...