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TRASHFUTURE

“It Just Means ‘Ignorant Person’” feat. Alex Kealy

TRASHFUTURE

TRASHFUTURE

Comedy

4.7935 Ratings

🗓️ 5 March 2019

⏱️ 57 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Friends, we at the Trashfuture podcast do not in any way want our jokes to become real. We don’t want Elon Musk to control the internet with a submarine like the Sons of Liberty in Metal Gear Solid 2. We don’t want Matt Hancock to parkour his way into our phones with a mandatory app. But we always knew in our hearts that the essence of conservatism is “why can’t I say the n-word.” And that latter item happened this week, as certified normal person and author Lionel Shriver wrote exactly that in the Spectator. As is to be expected, Nate (@inthesedeserts), Milo (@Milo_Edwards), Olga (@rocknrolga ), and Alex Kealy @alexkealy perform a deep dive on Lionel’s own words. Shocker: they’re insane! Riley is not on this episode. He was busy skiing and handed the keys to the purple Trashfuture Lamborghini to the rest of us. You Won’t Believe What Happened Next. Please bear in mind that your favourite moron lads have a Patreon now. You too can support us here: https://www.patreon.com/trashfuture/overview — and if you do, you’ll gain access to our Discord server, where you can talk about soup with us all day. *COMEDY KLAXON*: On March 13 at 8pm, Milo will host another Smoke Comedy at the Sekforde (34 Sekforde Street London EC1R 0HA). This show costs £5 and will feature all new material from Tania Edwards, Chloe Petts, Dimitri Bakanov, and Raph Wakefield. Get tickets here: https://www.eventbrite.co.uk/e/smoke-comedy-with-tania-edwards-tickets-56285827425 Also: you can commodify your dissent with a t-shirt from http://www.lilcomrade.com/, and what’s more, it’s mandatory if you want to be taken seriously. Do you want a mug to hold your soup? Perhaps you want one with the Trashfuture logo, which is available here: https://teespring.com/what-if-phone-cops#pid=659&cid=102968&sid=front

Transcript

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0:00.0

In the dream, I'm a time traveler, obviously.

0:02.6

So I time travel back to the Houses of Parliament.

0:05.5

I mean, the House of Parliament are still around, but to those of the past.

0:09.8

And so I'm there with...

0:11.0

Houses of Parliament of Yor.

0:13.3

Yesterday.

0:15.3

And Winston Churchill is there.

0:16.7

And he's like, hey, girl, can I borrow 20 pounds?

0:19.0

And I was like, sure fucking...

0:20.4

You remember that one.

0:20.6

Churchill quotes? Sure thing! and he's like, hey girl, can I borrow 20 pounds? And I was like, sure fucking, that's a lot of quote.

0:21.9

Sure thing.

0:23.1

Which is a lot of fucking money in 19.

0:25.5

I mean, where are the House of Parliament?

0:27.1

I mean, the man was drinking like four bottles of Polarre a day.

0:32.0

So I was like, sure thing.

0:33.0

So I hand him the 20 pound note and then he looks at it and he sees that the year that it's printed

0:37.5

is after the year that we are in in the past and we make eye contact yeah and um and i was like

0:44.2

shit and he's like and i see in his eyes that he knows i'm a time traveler and i'm like fuck i have to

0:48.8

fuck him so he doesn't tell anyone that's how fucked winson churchill so the question that's on all of our

0:53.6

minds was he good?

0:57.1

How far to get in the dream?

...

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