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Today's question comes from Deb in Texas. Deb writes, I've always tried to be organized with my finances.

My husband, on the other hand, never had any control on spending. We've been married for 16 years,

and I just discovered he had a best buy credit card balance of $10,000. Wow. The same card

he hid from me two years ago. After arguing every day, he finally sat down and talked about the

problem. We started the baby steps in March and did Financial Peace University with Jade.

I was so happy because I started to see a change. He even cut his credit cards in one of the classes. I recently told him that I needed to add

his other bank account to every dollar budget to keep track. And what came out of his mouth was

you have the other bank information. You want to have control over this one too? Once again, I feel hopeless and tired.

I know that our money problems and the lack of communication will eventually kill our marriage.

Actually, that's not what's going to kill your marriage.

What's going to kill your marriage is you have a husband who lies to you regularly.

What's going to kill your marriage is you'all have not sat down in a room

with the marriage counselor and said the marriage we had where we trusted each other where you weren't

trying to be in control of everything and y'all were partners in this thing and he was honest and was

a partner in this thing as well that that's over and we have to rebuild it. Y'all haven't done that.

And so what you're doing is blaming money. What you're doing is blaming the lack of communication.

Those are symptoms of two people not on the same page. And so, Rachel, this marriage is in

crisis. And this is a turn all the lights on, turn the music off.

We're going to counseling right now because we have to decide if we want to stay married or not.

Yeah.

Well, and it's one of those things that, you know, when you fix just the symptom and you don't

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